Hypnobirthing

First of all, before I even talk about what hypnobirthing is like and what I'm learning, I wanted to make a comment about a trend I've noticed among women who have given birth. Now, I know that the tendency in all people is to want to "one-up" each other--"You think THAT'S bad, you should hear what I did/went through/whatever!" But I've noticed it is especially prevalent in the telling of birth stories, and that anyone who dares to think that birthing could be, say, peaceful, or calm, or even enjoyable without the use of drugs, is quickly told they're nuts. "Honey," the say, "once you get in that delivery room, it'll all go out the window and you'll be screaming for the epidural like the rest of us." Now, I know that people mean well, and they are simply trying to spare me from disappointment, but frankly, being a wet blanket and a nay-sayer is hardly the way to encourage someone. And if someone told you, "You know, I think I've found a way to make the most sacred and beautiful event in your life actually resemble something sacred and beautiful," wouldn't you at least give them a chance to prove it true or false before you started doubting?

Here's where I'm coming from. People have been asking, as people will do, if we plan to have a natural birth or go for the drugs. "We're doing hypnobirth," I'll respond. "It's a combination of deep relaxation and using your mind to control what your body feels." To which people say one of two things:

1. "HYPNObirth?! Is that like 'You're getting sleeeeeppppyyyy...'" (insert pantomime of someone swinging a pocketwatch in front of your eyes a la old school hypnosis) Then they laugh that condescending "Oh, you naive, silly thing you" laugh.

or

2. "So you're going natural? Are you crazy? I don't understand why anyone would go natural when you can have the drugs and not feel anything. They don't give out awards for going natural, you know. Anyway, people always say they're going to have a natural birth, but almost all of them end up getting the drugs. Don't close yourself off to the idea."

Now, forgive me, but I think ridiculing or discounting someone's approach to ANYTHING is uncalled for, and if you think the person is nuts, then of course you reserve the right to think that, but you'd best get all the facts before you make your final judgment, especially out loud to their face.

So now I don't even tell people what we're doing, which makes me really, really sad, because I am so loving this approach that I'm seriously considering training to become a hypnobirth practitioner once the baby is a bit older.

SO why am I so loving this hypnobirthing thing? For two reasons: one, because I know that the power of the mind is something we in the western world tend to underrate, and yet it is proven time and again that our thoughts have incredible power over our physical bodies, and two, because I've SEEN it work.

At our first HB classs, we got to watch two birth videos of women employing the HB method. (Yes, they were those full on, "Oh my heavens, there's the baby's head coming right outta there" type videos.) Now, think back to every movie birth, TV birth, heck, probably even real-life birth that you've ever seen, and think of how you'd describe it. How about 'painful?' How about 'accompanied with lots of screaming and crying?' How about 'chaotic,' what with all the bright lights and all the people and everyone yelling, "Push!" Well, here is a description of both the births I saw: Quiet. Calm. Reverent. Peaceful. Not a single cry or yell from the mother. Not a single urgent "Push!" from the doctor. Both women would feel a surge (HB-speak for "contraction") coming on, would close their eyes, and would lie quietly on the table without puffing, gasping, moaning, or even wincing. After it passed, their eyes would open and they'd resume whatever it was they'd been doing before--eating Jell-o, chatting with their husbands. And then when they felt they were ready to breathe the baby down (there's no pushing in HB) they simply said, "I'm ready," and the doctor would check to see if they were fully dilated, and if they were, they began to...breathe. That's it. Albeit they breathed deeply and slowly, but never once did they squish up their faces and "bear down," never once did someone stand beside them yelling, "Five more seconds, Four more! Three!" They simply held their partner's hand, closed their eyes, and breathed. And then the baby was born.

And you know what was fascinating? The babies didn't emerge screaming. They weren't shaking. They were calm. The made little baby noises as they tested out their lungs, but they weren't red in the face and flailing their little fists in the air like they'd just been ripped from paradise. Why? Because however traumatized the mother is during birth is how traumatized the baby is. It can hear you screaming if you're screaming. It can hear you berating your husband for getting you into this mess. And if you're pushing, it is being squeezed more than necessary. So no wonder babies are typically born in the middle of a tantrum! But HB babies are mellow babies from the get-go--a trait they say tends to stick with them as they grow up.

So, THAT is why I'm doing hypnobirth. Because I believe western medicine has convinced women that birth is supposedto be painful, issupposedto be scary. Heck, dcotors get a lot more money from the insurance company when drugs are used or c-sections are performed. (HB practically puts them out of a job!) Because of the fact that women in third-world countries don't associate pain with birth, and will work in the fields up until it's time to give birth, and are usually back out in the field a few hours later. Because I'm convinced the body knows what it is doing and doesn't need us trying to control the situation. THAT is why I'm doing hypnobirth.

Well, now that you have my treatise on the why's, I've got to go tutor for a bit, but when I come back I'll jump into the what's of hypnobirthing. In the meantime, please check out hypnobirthing.org and read some of the incredible birth stories. If you're planning on having a baby ever again in your life, I hope what you read here and on that website will encourage you to check out HB.