Went to the mall last night for the first time in forever, and the place was decked out for Christmas already. It didn't hit me, until I saw all those shiny decorations and heard Christmas music in some of the stores, that it's actually The Holiday Season. For the last six months I've been looking ahead to this time of year, not just because it's my favorite season, but because it's the season when our baby comes. And then it hit me that THE BABY IS COMING. In, like, less than 2 months now.
I'm still really excited at the idea of having this baby. But I also realized the other day that I've been doing something somewhat detrimental during all my hypnobirthing practice. Much of the practice involves visualization: visualize your muscles relaxing, visualize your baby moving into the proper birthing position, visualize your birth the way you want it to be. Well, whenever I get to the exercises where I'm visualizing myself, I've been doing it from the perspective of watching myself from the outside, and not actually pretending that it's happening directly to me. All my visualizations of how I'll breath through the surges, how I'll act during labor, what I'll do during delivery, are suddenly MUCH SCARIER when visualized from a first person perspective.
A human being is going to come out of MY body. Wow.
I'm still excited, but I almost feel as though I'm starting over in all my hypnobirthing exercise. There's a whole new dynamic involved now.
Guess I better go practice....
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