And suddenly...she's real.

In the middle of the night, somewhere between hauling Abby out of the co-sleeper to nurse and easing her back in with a prayer that she'd stay asleep, she and the whole concept of motherhood became real. Suddenly the dream-like quality that the last 2.5 weeks have held dissipated, and it became clear to me that this was now my life. That I am a mom. That Abby, that squirming little being who melts my heart when she falls asleep on my chest, is my daughter, and always will be. That I'll be braiding her hair and giving in to her plea for sparkly shoes at Pay-Less and kissing bruises and scrapes in the years to come, and that, somewhere down the line, I'll be meeting The Boy and defending my choice of curfew and offering my sympathy when her firt relationship goes bust. And while I've thought of all this before, this was the first time when it all felt, well, real. I can't think of any other word that suits. It was like waking up, like snapping back to reality after getting lost in a daydream. And I'm glad it finally happened, because now I feel like I can get on with my life instead of just sitting around in a daze.

Now if only my body would find the energy to LET me get on with my life....