Accountability

we had our first hypnobirthing class last week, and I've been dying to write about it--but I'm still not going to right now because I know it'll be a long one, and I told my self I couldn't until I finished my current manuscript. (Which should be today!) But one of the things we talked about at that class was shielding myself from all the negative birth stories and experiences other women have had, because those stories become part of my expectation for what my birth experience is going to be like, and I'm aiming to experience something far calmer and more peaceful. So Tina, our instructor, made me promise to stop watching "Birth Day" on Discovery Health and "A Baby Story" on The Learning Channel, to which I reluctantly agreed.

So, a couple days later, I'm looking for something to watch, and Discovery Health has this show called "Make Room For Baby." It's a decorating show about people doing up their nurseries and stuff, and I was like, "That might be cool to watch!" So I try to go to that channel--and Dan has put a parental lock on it! Then, on a hunch, I try watching a show on TLC--same thing! "Password please," is says, and he didn't use the number we usually use, so I have no idea how to get into it. That stinker! But I couldn't help but be touched. He's such a sweetie. :)

Oi.

Car died on us today. We drove Dan's parents to the train station--they came down for lunch--and we parked under a tree to hang out till their train came, and when we tried to start it again it simply wouldn't. So bizarre. Thank heavens for AAA--and when the tow truck got there he listened to the weird noise it was making and said, "Oh, it's your battery." Apparently the battery wasn't yet completely dead, because our windows, nav system, radio, etc. still worked--it just didn't have enough juice to start the car. Thankfully he was able to jump it, so we drove it to Costco because he said they installed new batteries--and then we got there and they said they didn't. Bah! So let that be a lesson to y'all: don't expect Costco to install the batteries they sell. Anyway, it held up till we drove home and brought it to the Nissan dealer, but who knows when we'll get it back because we had to have something else fixed on it, too, and that has to be special ordered, which of course they won't be able to do until Monday. Thank heavens we have the Focus--and given the price of gas these days, it'll save us some cash to drive that little thing instead of the "$40 doesn't quite fill it" SUV.

So now I'm trying to rehydrate myself--we sat outside waiting for the tow truck for half an hour in the near-90 degree heat, and then couldn't drive with the a/c because the tow guy said it would suck the battery dry--and the baby is thrashing away so I take that as a good sign. For once I'm glad we left the a/c on at the house when we left; usually we turn it off when we're not here, but it felt soooo good to walk into a cool house! And speaking of baby, Dan's parents gave us all sorts of great baby necessities when they came down: socks, sleeper gowns, t-shirts, and crib sheets--they're so small and cute!! I can't wait to use them! :)

Is this bad?

Four short stacks of pancakes with chocolate chips at IHOP in the span of 5 days.

What can I say--it's all that sounded good. Ever.

I'm not a very good mother, am I?

Learning to Drive

This is maybe thinking just a bit too far ahead, but lately I've been obsessed over figuring out how to teach my child to drive. Cars--especially the giant ones that people drive out here in Caifornia, Hummers and Tahoes and Titans and other metal mammoths--are really scary and powerful and dangerous machines, and the thought of my baby behind the steering wheel of one freaks me out.

Now, obviously I know that this "baby" won't be a baby when they're learning to drive, but you know how it is with mothers; their children are always babies in their eyes. I've learned that already and haven't even met mine yet. But still.

I remember, as a child, my dad would take me to the parking lot of his old high school on days when no one was there and let me steer from his lap as we crawled along. He wouldn't let me actually drive--I was too small at the time to even reach the pedals--just turn the wheel and make the car go where I wanted it to as he supplied the power, which was fun despite the fact there was nowhere to actually go. I remember being older and going back to that parking lot and being allowed to sit in the driver's seat all alone while I made the car go and Dad encouraged me to give it a little more gas. And I remember driving down the narrow side streets of Arlington Heights, shaded by giant trees whose names I never knew, in our little temperamental Jetta and being so afraid to turn onto Northwest Highway, which, despite its name, wasn't much of a highway, just a four lane (total--not in each direction) main drag that would take you all the way to Chicago if you wanted. But there was traffic there, more cars and actual stoplights, and I avoided it until I was really, really comfortable behind the wheel, because the speed limit was, like, 40.

And then I think of my kids and the streets they'll be driving on. The main drag through little RSM here is 55 mph in places. Fifty-five! The slowest it gets is, like, 45. And the roads here curve like asphalt rivers--no easy grid like Arlington Heights, where you only turned the steering wheel to turn a corner.

And then there's the I-5.

Now, I may be mistaken--someone in Chicago, please correct me if I'm wrong--but the most lanes the expressways have out there are, like, 4 in one direction. Typically, I think it's more like 3. Whereas the I-5 can have as many as 6 lanes at a time, each one filled with maniacs going 90 and other maniacs going 50. You could stay in one lane, never switch left or right, and find that lane to be both the middle lane and the far-right lane in the span of 5 miles, because lanes just peel away and add on line some mutant onion. And for some reason Cal-Trans has really embraced the idea of these little reflector things that they glue down in the paint between lanes, and in some places they have ditched the paint altogether, so that your space on this Great Plain of cement is defined so by nothing but the occasional plastic bump reminiscent of a Pac-Man pellet, but less frequent.

And I think, My baby is going to drive on this road someday?

Who knows, maybe in sixteen years we won't have cars anymore; we'll have transporters like on Star Trek. Or transporter belts like on The Tomorrow People. Or maybe some new public transportation system will burst onto the scene with such an efficient and extensive network that cars will be rendered superfulous. Or, more likely, the price of gas will have gone so high that it takes a double-income home with both adults working as top executives to be able to afford it and people will just go back to their bikes. I'm hoping for one of these. Because I shudder at the thought of my baby learning to drive.

BABY!!!!!!

LOOK!!!!!!!



Not sure whose profile that is, Dan's or mine, but it looks like Charlie Brown's nose--go figure. But it was the most incredible thing to watch the screen and see my baby MOVING--s/he actually punched him/herself while we were watching, definitely my child--and to have the tech say, "Oh, look there's the heart beating," Look, there's its little hands and arms," "Look, there's its little legs--crossed, so we don't have a choice about finding out the sex, it's not gonna happen today!" (Whew!) S/he was very cooperative, too; the tech said s/he kept showing off all the bits and pieces she needed to get clear shots of, so I'm looking forward to the possibility of a very compliant baby. :) (Yeah, right.) The heartrate went up to 153 from the steady 140 it's been every other time, putting the odds of a girl (supposedly) a little higher. Three separate people yesterday said "Oh, you're totally having a girl." This was just by looking at me, no comments made about all the supposed "clues" that might tell you one way or the other. Go figure.

So, all in all, not a bad way to spend my anniversary!

Halfway there!

Today I am officially 20 weeks along. I can't believe this pregnancy is already halfway over. It's taken FOREVER--but on the other hand it seems like no time at all. (An apt description of the rest of my life these days.) My next appointment is the Tuesday that we're back from Chicago--can't wait to hear that heartbeat again!

I found a place in Anaheim called Before the Stork--it's an elective 3D/4D imaging center where they'll give you a video and a bunch of black & white and color keepsake photos of your baby. The imagining room is set up like a theater with a sofa and a 60" screen so family can come and watch. It's $180 bucks, and not covered by insurance because it's elective (they don't check all the important medical stuff), but I think we're going to do it! I'm so excited!!

Today I got my book on hypnobirthing in the mail from our hypnobirth practitioner. I can't remember if I've talked about hypnobirthing yet--I want to pull a couple of my favorite quotes from the book before I write an actual post on it. But I'm just excited that I have it. I've already scanned half of it and am SO excited about doing it! We start our classes the week we get back from Chicago. Fun!!

And they're off! (the hormones, that is)

So apparently in the middle of your pregnancy--either that, or just in the middle of mineyour hormones go off and have themselves a little party at your expense. I had two full-out sob-fests yesterday over things that really didn't require them, and I just not found myself weeping at a rerun of "Mad About You." Now, I've always been an emotional person, to a point, but this is ridiculous. So you can add to the list of things I lost (among my waistline, my memory, and the ability to fall back asleep when I wake up in the middle of the night) "the ability to control my emotions!"