Well, here we are, the infamous Due Date has arrived. I had my 40 week appointment with Michelle today--she gave me hugs and was very sympathetic. Have I mentioned lately how much I love her? Anyway, I'm happy to say I only gained one pound this week, which is stunning given all the utter CRAP I've been shoveling into my pie-hole--can you say "emotional eater?"
I ushered in the big day with two baby dreams. I haven't remembered my dreams lately, which is weird; usually they're so vivid that I can recount them detail for detail. I haven't had many baby dreams this pregnancy, either, so it was weird to have two in a row. In the first dream, we had twins, a boy and a girl. We were surprised, but not as surprised as one would expect a couple to be when they've had as many ultrasounds as we have.
The second dream was a lot longer and way more stressful. Abby wasn't around; it was as if this was our first baby--a girl, by the way. But the them of the whole dream was that I kept forgetting her! I'd put her down somewhere and then get distracted and it would be hours before I'd remember to go get her. I even woke up (in the dream, not in real life) and thought, "Where's the baby?" Turns out I'd left her in the car! Overnight! I'd be completely panicked every time it happened, totally freaked out and upset and shaking, and I kept thinking, "I can't let anyone know I keep doing this! They'll take her away from me!" But it wasn't like I was doing it on purpose, it just kept happening--in the crib, in a shopping cart, at the park--like pregnancy brain multiplied a thousand times. It didn't matter how badly I wanted to remember her, I couldn't. Isn't that terrible?! What on earth is wrong with my subconscious?! No wonder the poor thing is stalling on being born; it's probably afraid of me.
Tomorrow is Dan's class final. I'm going all out after that--well, in terms of natural labor starters, anyway. Michelle offered to strip my membranes for me, and if it had been Thursday and Dan's final was already done I may have taken her up on it, but the timing was all wrong today. And truly, I'm more patient than I make myself out to be. I'm really okay with the baby coming whenever the baby is ready to come. It's more about my painful, miserable nights than anything else at this point. I want those to end more than I do the pregnancy. I like being pregnant; I'm going to miss feeling him/her moving around in there.
2 comments:
My 2nd baby was born 5 months ago. My 1st baby (a very clever and curious 2 year old) keeps me so preoccupied (with his safety) that I feel like I neglect my new baby. I actually have forgotten her a few times! Fortunately it was upstairs, not in the car. But the mommy-brain is much worse this time.
I know how hard it is to be right at your due date, waiting for the baby to come. It sounds like you have great perspective though! You get to look forward to giving birth to a child you have yet to meet- it is the most amazing day in the world! Savor the time leading up to it... it is so precious! Best wishes for a beautiful birth! I am so excited for you!
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