Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Here comes trouble

Penny Jane is officially crawling! Not far--she peters out onto her tummy after about 5 or 6 "steps"--but she's definitely doing it. And sometimes she does it on hands and feet with that puffy cloth-diapered butt in the air. So cute.

And, just like Abby, at the same time as she learned to crawl, she started pulling herself up on furniture. She's not quite to the cruising stage, but she's very close. Her balance improved a thousand percent in about 48 hours, it was wild to see it happen so fast. And in fact, she stood for about 3 seconds on her own the other day.

She's also saying ma-ma-ma and we're pretty sure she's saying it to call me. And if you say it back to her slowly, you can see her studying your mouth, and then she'll mouth it back but not make the sound. It's so funny.

I took her to Dr. Jen the other day for her allergy testing. Dr. Jen uses applied kinesiology to test, rather than a blood draw or scratch test. She is also a chiropractor, so she did a chiro check on PJ and discovered that her T1 vertebrae was misaligned. That's the one associated with asthma, so I'm praying that was the cause of the asthma she's been suffering with every time that stupid cough comes around. Dr. Jen also found that the valve between her esophagus and stomach was weak and not closing all the way, and the stomach had come up a little bit through the valve. Apparently this is not unheard of, and it can cause--ta-da!--reflux! She said that was most likely what the problem was since, when she did the allergy testing, she found PJ was *not* allergic to dairy! (She is to corn and tomatoes, though.) She tested me as well and found that I'm not allergic to, but not properly digesting, dairy, wheat, strawberries, and avocado. She set me up with an enzyme to take when I eat those foods, so that should help. I was SO excited to start eating dairy again, but it's funny, I *really* notice I feel lousy after dairy now. Christian the awesome nutritionist taught us that wheat and dairy are inflammatory, and I really feel it with the dairy. I went out and bought ice cream and colby cheese and after servings of each I honestly didn't want anymore. Which is just as well, given their fat content (and sugar content in the ice cream).

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Six months!

Six months?!

Hard to believe, but it's true. I took Penny Jane in for her six month appointment today. She's a whopping 27.25 inches and 17 lbs. 11 oz. Wow. Doc said she looked great, checked out fine, wouldn't be surprised if she was cruising along the furniture by the next (9 month) appointment, which would be about right if she follows in Abby's footsteps. (No pun intended.) Abby started pulling up to standing around 7 months, but, like, 3 days later she learned how to crawl and did that for a month before showing much interest in standing again. But she was full-on walking at 9.5 months. Oi!!

Unfortunately this was the second trip to the ped in the last week, because the girls got that stupid cough AGAIN. When I checked the calendar I realized they've been getting it every 8 weeks. The ped thinks it's seasonal allergies--she said the mold and pollen counts have been roller-coastering all summer--and on top of it she thinks Penny Jane has asthma. :( Each time she's gotten the cough she's ended up wheezing, and it takes twice as long for her to get over it as it does Abby. I'm taking her in for an allergy test to see if there's a food allergy causing the asthma; I'm really hoping there is so we can just cut out that food and not have to put her on medication. She was supposed to get her first of four hib vaccinations today, but I'm putting it off until she's totally over the cough so her system has time to heal and strengthen. Now I just have to remember to take her back in for it!

It's been a rough couple of months with her. This teething thing is just *killing* us. She just yells and yells and squawks and isn't happy so much of the time. It breaks my heart. It also brings me close to a psychotic episode when coupled with Abby's relentless asking. ("I want to go outside." "No." But I want to go outside!" "No." "But I *want* to!" Etc. etc. etc.) Penny Jane has also hit the separation anxiety stage, so that gives us the added bonus of wailing like she's being tortured every time I leave the room.

I've been feeling a lot of mommy guilt in regards to Penny Jane lately. I'm not nearly as patient with her as I was with Abby at this stage. I'm not as empathetic, I'm not as doting, I'm not as hands-on. I am utterly sick at the amount of television she's seen. Abby didn't watch a TV show until she was a year old! All those little neurons I've killed...it's just awful.

I resolved this week to start taking more pictures of her. The camera keeps getting put away and I just don't think of it, and then suddenly a month has passed without a single image being taken. So, from recent days...

With Cousin Gavin:


"Why yes, I do occasionally like a bit of ball before supper..."


Okay, this one isn't that recent, but it's cute. She loves the swing, just like Abby!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

360

Monday morning Abby and I were playing with Penny Jane on the floor. She was on her back and she flipped to her tummy, a trick she's doing regularly now. She stayed there for a while, not too happy about her situation but not squawking about it yet, either, and then--kick, kick, wiggle wiggle wiggle--she was back on her back! And it wasn't like she hadn't quite settled on her tummy and just rolled back over--oh no, she did a whole 360. And we're noticing that, when she's on her tummy, she's totally got the crawling motion already going, but since she's beached on her belly and not up on hands and knees she doesn't go anywhere. She's sure trying, though; you should see those toes digging into the carpet!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Little Showoff


She just rolled right onto her forearms and sat there for a good five minutes, smiling and cute, while my parents and Dan snapped phone pictures of her. If only I had Photoshop, I could place her in a studio setting instead of on the floor of the La Jolla condo!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Four month stats!

Well well well. Took Penny Jane to the doctor today and boy was the ped impressed! First of all, she's at 15 lbs 1 oz, which puts her at the 80%, and 26 inches, which is, in the words of the doc, "off the charts." Her little stats sticker that the ped gives us for her baby book actually lists her in the statistically-impossible 100%! This explains why her 6 month onesies fit so well--I kept thinking it was the gDiapers I'm using on her that are a little bulkier than disposables, but apparently it's just her. She was also quite taken with PJ's ability to sit up so well on her own, and said that, given how early she's doing that, she'll most likely crawl early, too. She also said that because she's so long she'll probably outgrow the infant carseat by her 6 month appointment! I can't remember how long Abby was in hers, but it was MUCH longer than 6 months, I'm pretty sure.

Have I mentioned gDiapers before? I don't think so. Well, we started cloth diapering Abby--or tried to, at least, but Abby wets through everything SO fast, it's really remarkable (and irritating), so we're taking a break while I wait for a different kind of diaper to arrive that I ordered for her because I just got so stinkin' sick and tired of her soaking through both diaper and shorts every single time she peed. I wanted to cloth diaper PJ, too, but I couldn't bear to go through the sampling stage with her where I bought one of, like, ten different types of dipes to see which worked best. So I started buying gDiapers instead. They're "hybrid" diapers: the cover is washable, as is the plastic liner, but the inserts which soak everything up are 10% biodegradable! You can trash them, compost them (the wet-only ones, anyway) and even flush them, which makes them super-easy to deal with. Unfortunately they're about twice the price of the disposables we were using on Abby, but I justify it by knowing Abby will either be in cloth soon or else potty-trained in the next 6 months (hopefully, anyway).

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Updates galore

Yikes, I've really slacked, haven't I!? Sorry about that! Here's all the latest from the land of PJ:

She sits! It's only for 60-90 second at a time, but it's a start. Proof:


She grows! I changed out her wardrobe today. I needed to do it at least a week ago, but I think I was in denial that she could already be nearly 16 weeks. And it's either the bulkiness of the gDiapers or she's even longer than Abby, because some of the 3-6 month onesies fit her perfectly in length. I'm sure the diapers have something to do with it, but just looking at her she really does look longer than Abby was at this age.

She talks! Okay, so, not really, but she coos and gurgles and babbles so much! Very very cute--except at 5 AM like this morning. Then, not so much.

She no longer refluxes! Can't remember if I've updated on this yet, but when I'm off dairy she's fine. And when I've had a little (not that I have it on purpose, but just when I've eaten something without realizing it had dairy in it) she starts spitting up quite a bit again. So, while I'm very glad to know what it was that was causing the rivers of milk to stream from her mouth, I'm so very sad to know it's dairy, because WOW do I miss it. On the bright side, I tried ghee the other day and she doesn't react at all to that, so at least I have a dairy substitute now! And I also found dairy-free chocolate chips. Score!

She's strong! Her little legs are, anyway. I've been doing tummy time with her on her boppy pillow--which she actually tolerates, unlike her sister who would scream the house down--and she digs her toes into the carpet and pushes herself right over the pillow, like so:

GOING...


GOING...


GONE!


She's teething! She chows down on anything she can get in her mouth, poor thing. The other night I dreamed that I got a good look in there and saw twelve HUGE--like, cartoon-huge--molars, six on each side. And I was like, "Well, yeah, that would make sense." Honestly, it wouldn't have surprised me to find out it wasn't a dream, given how drooly and chompy she is.

She sleeps! In fact, this is her right now:

I'm kind of annoyed, really, that she fell asleep so early. If she's out before 9 she's up at 5. Ouch. She napped fairly well today, so I was pretty sure she'd make it until at least 8:30, but it's 8:20 right now and she's been out since about 7:55. *sigh* Early to bed with me...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Three months! (and a bit)

She's thirteen weeks today, so yeah, I missed the three month thing by just a little. Unless you go by dates, in which case it's not until tomorrow. So there!

Penny Jane celebrated by rolling over for the first time on the floor. You may recall her she did this once before, but the circumstances surrounding the event were somewhat suspect. Anyway, it's totally and completely official now. And, just like with Abby, I missed it. Oh well. Dan got to see it, at least.

I've been dairy-free for a month and WOW has it made a difference for her. The yellowy flaky skin on her eyebrows is almost completely gone, the spit-ups are rare, and the reflux is non-existent. Hallelujah! I, however, am craving fro-yo so bad I can barely stand it, and man, I had no idea dairy came in so many sneaky forms. Every once in a while I end up eating some without knowing it, and poor Penny Jane is right back to spitting up. But the upside to going dairy-free--besides, of course, not torturing my child--is that I'm losing weight a lot faster!

The three-month birthday girl:

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Queen of Babble-On

She's talking! It's so cute! Well, baby babbling, of course, but it's adorable. I forgot how much I love those silly sounds. We got out the play pad that Abby spent so much time on at this age, and she's been kicking around in there, chatting away with the dangling animals. She's also trying (at least I think she's trying and it's not just random flailing) to grab at them. You go, girl!

A Day of Bodily Fluids

Her butt's a cannon!
Projectile poop even more
messy in the dark.

There are some events that just beg for their own haiku. This was one of them. I was changing her diaper on the bed, in the mostly-dark of 3AM, when she decided to, shall we say, "Let it go". Thing is, I had her legs in the air so I could slide the new diaper under her, so her butt was aimed quite perfectly at my chest, and wow, did she get some power behind that poop! And cleaning up in the dark was even more fun--all sorts of little 'presents' to be found...on my shorts...on my arm...on the bed...somewhere else on the bed...

But that was just the beginning a few hours later she had another Mt. Vesuvius-like reflux explosion that soaked the outfit I was all excited to wear that day, about five minutes before we were to leave for our AP moms playgroup. And that night, after putting her in the last pair of pajamas I had for her, she erupted yet again.

Both ends of her are quite powerful, I tell you what.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Bellybutton, be healed!


Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has been praying for Penny J's beebo. We went to the doctor on Friday and she said it looks like it's closed up! There's a small scab still there, so we need to be careful of that, but other than that it looks like all is well. Took three weeks and three different treatments (plus a TON of prayer), but we're out of the woods. Huzzah!

We had our last check-up with Michelle last week. I was so sad when I realized I wouldn't be seeing her again until the next baby. We weighed PJ and she was 12 lbs, 1 oz. WOW. That explains why some of her 3 month outfits are starting to seem a bit snug. I got pics of PJ with Michelle:



and Karly:



for her scrapbook, which I REALLY need to get going on. Anyway, if anyone out there is considering a homebirth in the SoCal area, I urge you to check out Michelle. She's just amazing. I'm so blessed to have found her.

She's still sleeping about 6 hours at night, hallelujah, though last week she had three nights in a row of only 3 or 4 hours at a stretch, and I'm thinking that must have been a growth spurt. That was still way better than Abby ever slept, but I'm very thankful she's back to 6 hours. And yesterday she slept for an hour and a half in the crib while I cleaned and had lunch. Dan had taken Abby out for some daddy-daughter time, so I had the place to myself. It was heaven. I got so much done! And I was excited that she slept in the crib. My goal for this week is to get her down to a routine with her morning nap. I've been just letting it happen whenever and wherever, but I'm seeing a pattern, so I think I'm going to start taking her upstairs around the 2.5 or 3 hour mark in the morning and putting her in the crib for naptime. We'll see what happens...

The last bit of news is that I'm pretty sure she has some kind of food allergy. I suspect it's dairy, but only because I'm sensitive to dairy too. If it's not that I'm almost certain it will be wheat, given the issues my mom has with it. So, starting tomorrow, I'm going dairy free. Pray for me. Next to bread products, dairy products are my absolute favorite. I just bought a brand new brick of cheddar, too. Drat.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

There's a hole in my baby!

(dear Liza, dear Liza)

So, yeah, that's sort of weird. Her belly button kept getting crusty, so I took her to the ped this past week and she had a look and said, "Ah, yes, there's a hole." Apparently things didn't completely heal up when her cord fell of. *ew* She was optimistic that it would heal up since it was so small and barely leaking anything as compared to most kids; apparently when that happens their shirts often end up with a huge wet spot. That's definitely not happening here, thank heavens. But she said that if it doesn't heal on its own it'll need surgery. :( She said to treat with alcohol but Michelle said to treat with the Cord Care "dust" that we used on the umbilical cord. She also said that research keeps showing that alcohol impedes the healing process. Grr. I never know who to believe! I have to admit, though, I am less likely to believe the standard medical doctor these days. So we're going with the Cord Care dust. Though we've been "dusting" it since Tuesday and it doesn't seem any better, so I'm calling her tomorrow to see how long it might take. Please God, don't let it need surgery!!!


Already showing off her personality...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Contest winners!

Ahhh, you thought I'd forgotten, didn'tcha? Well, I did. BUT! I remembered, as I eventually (usually) do. I tried a new scoring system this time--y'all started out with 100 points, and deductions were made as follows:

wrong sex = 10
wrong day = 1 point per day
wrong weight = 1 point per every 2 oz.
wrong length = 1 point per every 1/2 inch
wrong part of the day (AM or PM) = 1 point

The winner is Sam, with a score of 93! Very impressive! And to think she started her prediction with "I'm never any good at these things..." Sam wins a copy of Shauna Niequist's new and awesome book, "Cold Tangerines," as well as her choice of "Violette Between," "Worlds Collide," or my upcoming release, "Reinventing Rachel." Happy reading, Sam!

And a bonus prize goes out to Katie for guessing Penelope Jane's weight spot-on. She wins a copy of her choice of "Violette Between," "Worlds Collide," or my upcoming release, "Reinventing Rachel" as well. Hope you enjoy, Katie!

Thanks to everyone for your guesses. I'm sure PJ will have fun one day looking at all your guesses!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Our little overachiever

We were in Ventura over the weekend. Abby took off with Greena the minute we walked in the door--it's such a joy to see her so comfortable with them! She spent the whole weekend either playing blocks with Par, watching cartoons with Greena, or showing off her singing and "dancing" as she watched our Jana concert. I can't believe how many of the lyrics she knows! And how well she does the hand motions! It's SO cute, and it kills me that she stops the second she sees the video camera; I so desperately want to record her for posterity. (And for the relatives that don't get to see her.)

Penny J was her usual mellow self. Dan's afraid we're going to leave her somewhere because she's so quiet. I laughed when he told me that--except I feel the same way sometimes! She did, however, draw quite a bit of attention to herself on a couple occasions when she ROLLED OVER. Yes, at two weeks and a few days she rolled from back to front. Three times, in fact. In front of a shocked audience. And this wasn't just a serious wiggle with enough inertia to flip her. She rolled to her side (which she's been doing nearly since the beginning) and hung out there for awhile, and then suddenly started squirming and kicking--and then presto! Tummy time!

She's also been holding her head up for 30 seconds or more at a time. And not just while being held up; last night she was lying on Dan's chest and she picked up her head and just held it there, looking around. Crazy!


The girls at Gigi and Boppa's (my parents) on Easter Sunday.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Packing on the...ounces

Penny and I had our 2 week appointment with Michelle today. Penny was 9 pounds and 2 ounces! she was just 8 pounds 9 ounces less than a week ago--she really piled it on in the last 5 days! She looks so much more filled out. But even so, she doesn't look as big as Abby did at birth, and Abby was only one ounce less than Penny is now. Strange.

I checked out okay, although unfortunately some of my stitches tore right through the skin and were no longer holding anything together. Thankfully they were just "cosmetic" stitches and not fixing anything really important, so it's not a big deal. I'm so surprised I didn't know it had happened; certainly sounds like it would be awfully painful!

I've been feeling some serious mommy guilt the last couple of days. I think I had taken about 200 pictures of Abby by the time she was 2 weeks old. I've taken...maybe 20 of PJ. We have a bunch of her and Abby that I need to go through from Easter, but I swear I had the camera next to me at all times when Abby was a baby, and now I don't even know where the camera is! I haven't started Penny's baby book (though I did finally buy one), I haven't gotten a scrapbook for her yet, I haven't started writing in the journal I'll keep to give to her when she grows up...it's terrible. I always told myself I wouldn't be like this, and yet here I am. Not good.

Friday, March 28, 2008

One week down, a lifetime to go

Penny-J had her one week doctor visit yesterday. She's up to 8 pounds and 9 ounces--not bad for a kid with a lousy nursing latch who's supposedly eating in the most inefficient way possible. I've given up trying to fix it, though--the pain's not that bad anymore, and she's obviously not suffering. I have enough in my life to stress over; why add to it?

The best part, though, I gotta say, is that the child sleeps. She nursed at 11 last night and then not again until 3:30, and after that it was 7 a.m.! Unbelievable! After Abby's nighttime nursing marathons, this is a very welcome change. I actually prayed while I was pregnant that this baby would be a good sleeper--God is good! She doesn't "shut down" at night until 11ish, though--or at least that's been the pattern until tongith; right now, though, she's pretty out. Good thing, too, because I'm half asleep and desperate for bed.



Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Homebirth Reflections

Abby is zoned in front of an episode of Max and Ruby and Penny-J is asleep on my chest, so since they're both occupied I thought this might be a good time to post some of my thoughts about the homebirth.

Like every new experience, I went in with a lot of expectations. Most of them went out the window (bake a cake?! during labor?! what the heck was I thinking?!), mostly because of the speed of labor, but despite my laundry list of unfulfilled hopes and desires for the event, I can't imagine having done it any other way. A lot of people have asked if I'd do it this way again. Honestly, in the first few hours after the birth, I would have said there won't be a next time, but of course the intensity of things has faded over the last week and I think I can say I'm open to there being another time, and yes, I will most definitely doing it at home!

I was thinking about how different it would have been had we planned on a hospital birth. I would have gotten an epidural, no doubt. Even if I'd woken Dan half an hour earlier (and I can't imagine I would have done it any sooner than that), by the time we actually got to the hospital and I got checked into a room, I would have been at the point in my contractions when they got totally intense. Would I have started my hypnobabies scripts in time? Possibly, perhaps in the car on the way there, but given how strong they were I think the car ride would have been incredibly uncomfortable--I don't know if I would have kept my focus enough to stay in hypnosis when things got crazy.

And how would I have labored? I was on my hands and knees hugging the birth ball for the majority of the time--would I have done that in the hospital? Would I have felt secure enough to let myself go "primal"--moaning, rocking, swaying--when the staff would have been checking vitals and monitoring me? Would my OB have let me deliver on my hands and knees? I'd like to think she would--though if I'd ended up with the epidural I most likely would have been on my back.

I would have had to be vigilant about my birth plan, especially in regards to the treatment of the baby after birth--wanting her right away to nurse, keeping her with me to bond for at least an hour before being weighed and measured, not wanting her to have the eye stuff (can't remember what it's called) or Hep-B vax or a pacifier. Whereas all those things were sorted out at the home visit and there was no need to remind anyone because they all knew and respected our wishes.

The food was a lot better at home, too. :)

Not that the homebirth experience was all sunshine and roses. I had a rather romantic idea of what homebirth would be like, and the reality was anything but.My hallway carpet has bloodstains, and every time I see them it's a weird, uncomfortable reminder that I was naked in front of three people I didn't know all that well, and with my husband there, which is just strange. These people also saw me raving like a woman possessed, and while it's their job and they've seen it a million times, I have never been out of control that way before, and it's weird to think I have that primitive, animal side to me. And while the image of a woman on her back on a bed giving birth is very accepted in our society, the image of a woman on all fours is not, and the memory of it feels very...base. It's a bit embarrassing to think my husband saw me that way. It is not a sexy image. Nor is the image of my water breaking on his office floor (thankfully covered in chux pads). After the birth, my bed (also thankfully covered in chux pads) looked like the scene of a brutal murder. And it's not like I didn't think there'd be blood, it's just that I hadn't given a lot of thought to the fact that it would be right there and not on an easy-to-clean linoleum floor like in the hospital.

And in a funky way, it felt like less of a special event because there wasn't the big "Time to go to the hospital!" moment, or all the accompanying medical buzz and procedure that goes with a hospital birth. I had a baby, took a shower, got some stitches, and then everyone left and I was in bed holding a baby. 'Course the fact that it only took five hours contributes to that as well, especially when you're expecting at least half a day to be taken up. It was, in all honesty, a bit of a let-down. On one hand, that's the beauty of it--something totally natural was treated as such and not treated like a life-or-death medical event. But on the other hand, when society has taught you that it is a life-or-death medical event, the natural way seems kind of simple and plain--not nearly enough fanfare for the emerging of a new soul into the world. There should have been trumpets and a chorus of angels--which there may well have been in heaven, but we didn't get the benefit of it. Maybe midwives ought to offer a fanfare package--marching band and fireworks, or at least a CD of the Hallelujah Chorus or something.

Anyway...that's what's been on my mind. And like I said, regardless of what expectations were or were not met, I'll do it this way again, if there is an again. I hope this doesn't turn anyone off from homebirthing, though I guess if it does then you weren't meant to do it in the first place. It's definitely a commitment and requires taking a lot of responsibility for your own care--not that midwives don't take care of you, but there's an expectation on their part, and rightly so I believe, that you are an integral part of the success of your homebirth and thus need to be more involved in your own care beyond just taking your prenatals and showing up for your appointments. A lot of women sign over their pregnancy and birth experience to their doctor, and if that's your cup of tea then so be it, but I think that's the reason why we've seen such an awful increase in cesarean rates in this country. I think it's high time women started trusting their bodies more and listening to (or, more accurately, rediscovering) their instincts when it comes to birth. Hopefully my experience will encourage someone to take that leap.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Sleep, glorious sleep...

So the first two nights Penny slept pretty well. I had high hopes. And then Saturday I was minutes away from slamming my head against the wall because she wanted to nurse nonstop--at nearly midnight I'd been in bed for over two hours and still hadn't slept. As soon as I got her back in the cosleeper and got myself settled, she'd be crying to eat again. (If she'd eat for more than ten minutes at a time, this wouldn't be such a problem.) Dan came in just before I broke into a thousand mental pieces and took her to see if being in the swing would distract her from eating--and it did! I got three hours of rest before they came back in, and life was good again. She only nursed one more time that night, and we got to sleep until quarter to eight.

Then last night she made up for it by only nursing twice and letting me sleep until 7:45, and Abby even contributed by sleeping an hour later than that! Granted, I didn't go to bed until 11 because I could tell Penny was just going to keep nursing, so I guess, now that I think about it, it wasn't much different from Saturday night, except that I didn't spent two fruitless hours trying to sleep. I really hope she picks up the nursing pace so she isn't up so late eating--these little five and ten minute mini-feeds scattered throughout the day are going to get old real quick.

Greena and Par (Dan's parents) came down Saturday to spend the day with us. More pics on the other blog--they helped Abby color eggs!--but I thought this was so cute: Abby nursing the doll they brought for her:



Nancy (a.k.a. "Greena") crocheted this blanket for PJ before she was born--she was pretty confident we were having a girl:



So Eastery! Speaking of which, hope your holiday was filled with awe for the sacrifice that was made for us, for God so loved the world...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Top Ten Things I'd Forgotten About Having a Newborn

10. How hard it is to dress and diaper them when they insist on keeping their arms and legs in the "frog" position.

9. How breastmilk poop doesn't smell that bad.

8. How your heart stops every time they choke while nursing.

7. How often they choke while nursing.

6. How they're swimming even in newborn outfits.

5. How a mother's ear can hear the faintest glug and gurgle, even in the middle of the deepest sleep.

4. How long it takes for it to sink in that this little person is real.

3. How nice it is to know you can put them down and step away for a minute and they'll still be in the same spot when you come back.

2. How hard it is to put them down.

1. How quickly the pain of the birth fades once you have them in your arms.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

More pictures!




Wednesday, March 19, 2008

SHE'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!


There aren't enough exclamation marks in the world to convey my utter shock and elation at a) having another daughter (especially when we were SO sure it was going to be a boy) and b) getting my VBAC at home with no complications whatsoever. It still hasn't sunk in. Maybe writing everything out here will hammer it home.

I woke up a little after 3 this morning with a contraction. I didn't think much of it because that's been happening a lot lately. But then another one came 13 minutes later, and the next one 5 minutes later. "Oh, that's gotta be a fluke," I thought. But the next one was also 5 minutes later, and they were all pretty strong, so I decided to get up and see what might happen.

They were consistently 5 minutes apart for about an hour, and getting quite intense. Suddenly I had two right on top of each other that really bowled me over, and I realized I needed to get Dan up, have him call my mom, and call Sheridan, my doula. I called the doula first so she could start heading over--and she had just gotten home an hour before from another birth! She asked if I would be alright with her catching a quick nap and coming over in a couple hours, and I said sure, figuring we still had quite a bit of time ahead of us for this birth. But then I had two contractions just going from Dan's office to the bedroom to wake him up, and I knew that things were starting to pick up speed. We called the midwife, and then a contraction hit that made me want to push, and I just about panicked thinking the baby was going to be born right then! Then Sheridan called and said "You know what, I feel like I need to come over," and I was like, "Yeah you do!" When she got there I was still feeling pushy with my contractions, and I yelled to Dan to get some of the chux pads from the birth kit and lay them on the floor because I honestly thought I was going to have the baby in the next 5 minutes. Instead (and thankfully!) it was just my water breaking.

I labored on the floor in Dan's office for quite a while, because I just couldn't bear the thought of moving all the way down the hall to the bedroom; it just seemed too monumental a task. (It also took a while to get the bed prepped; we needed to wait for my mom to come, and then we moved Abby downstairs to the sofa bed and Dan got the birthing sheets and plastic mattress protector all set up.) I'll have to find out the exact time of this, but at one point I felt like I was totally done, mentally and physically. Because everything had hit so fast, I'd never had time to get going with my hypnobabies stuff, and I felt EVERYTHING! So I asked Michelle to check me to see how far I was. She put me off for a while because my water had broken, and the risk of infection goes up once that happens, but then a little while later I absolutely HAD to know. I had 8 cm in my head as a benchmark; I felt like, if I was at least that far, I could handle it, but if I was any less, I was seriously going to ask for a hospital transfer and get an epidural. It was THAT intense. (Though how I thought I'd be able to get downstairs and endure a ride to the hospital when I couldn't bear the thought of moving 12 feet down the hall, I don't know!) So then she checked me and, lo and behold, I was indeed an 8! She said if I wanted to push a little to go ahead and do it, it might get me the rest of the way to 10. It was SUCH a relief to have a physical outlet (besides the roaring and growling I'd been doing) when the contractions hit!

Eventually I knew I wanted to get into the bedroom, but I was so tired and weak it took two people supporting me to even get me moving. (My last meal had been at 5 the night before, and I'd had nothing besides sips of Recharge during contractions since Michelle had gotten there, around 5:30.) Finally they got me up and into the bathroom for a pit stop, and then into the bedroom on the birthing stool. I kept yelling at the baby, "Come on, crown! Get moving!" I kept asking if they could see anything, and Michelle would just say she could feel the head but not see it, and that it might still be awhile. I remember thinking, "I don't think I have 'awhile' left in me! It better be faster than that!"

Then something shifted in me and I wanted to get up on the bed. They helped me crawl up there, and I was on all fours, hugging the birthing ball (which is how I'd labored most of the time in Dan's office) and holding Dan's hand in an "arm wrestling" grip to use as a brace. I'm not sure how long I was up there, but then with one of the contractions I could feel that she was just right there, and I thought, "If I don't push that head out right now, I'm never going to make it." I didn't think I had the energy to do it, but I did, and everyone cheered and I just kept saying, "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" The next contraction felt too weak to get the rest of her out, but I couldn't bear to do it any longer, so I gave it everything I had left in me and out she came!

She squeaked out a tiny cry, and they put her on my back while I caught my breath. It took Dan a few seconds to get a good look at the sex, and when he said it was a girl I about fell off the bed! EVERYONE thought it would be a boy! They helped me maneuver onto my back to lie down, and the placenta came out pretty quickly, probably less than 10 minutes after PJ.

I'm kinda fuzzy on things after that. I was shaking uncontrollably, apparently a common post-birth experience, and I was just SO incredibly weak and tired. After a little while they made me get up to go to the bathroom, and then I took a shower to get cleaned up but nearly fainted when I was done. I ended up kneeling on the floor of the tub and calling for someone to come help me; they brought Recharge and toast and made me eat, which made me feel a tiny bit better. Mom had made sandwiches and scrambled eggs for everyone, so when I got back into the bed (with my hair still uncombed from the shower!) I had a little more to eat and it totally helped. PJ was cleaned and dressed and all her measurements taken while I was in the shower; they brought her over to nurse and she latched almost right away and ate for probably 5 or 6 minutes. Oh, and somewhere in there--after the shower, I think, but before Mom brought up the food--they spent 45 minutes stitching me up because I tore in all sorts of lovely places. PJ came out with her hand next to her face, and given how hard and fast I pushed out her 14 and 1/8 inches-sized head (plus hand), there was no time for anything to stretch. So that sucks. But oh well.

So five hours of labor almost to the minute, with 44 minutes of pushing. Not bad for a first timer!

And I think she's going to look like me! She definitely has my coloring, whereas Abby has Dan's olive tone. And mom kept saying yesterday, "That's what you looked like when you were born, I swear." 'Course they all said that about Abby, too, the first couple days--and then suddenly she turned into mini-Dan. So we'll see.

Our first night went surprisingly well. Abby didn't go to sleep until almost 10:30, but she slept through the entire night until after 8. Penny-J slept all night, too, except for an hour long nursing session from about 12:30-1:30--her first meal since the one after she was born! And when she woke up this morning she ate a little and was quite alert--she even sat on Abby's lap for the first time. Very cute--tried to get a picture but the bedroom was too dark. Oh well--plenty of opportunities for that will come.

I'm sure I'll remember more as the days go on, so I'll post more details as they surface. Until then, keep us in your prayers as we adjust to being a family of four!