(Before I get into any of this, let me preface it all by saying that none of what I'm about to write is eclipsing my love for Abby or my overall happiness. I'm not depressed or experiencing PPD or anything like that, so no one has to worry. :)
I was on BabyCenter.com and found a message board called "C-section support." It took me a minute to allow myself to check it out because I hadn't't yet let myself really analyze and process the turn of events that we experienced a week ago today. But I read some of the posts, and in doing so, I began to look more closely at Abby's birth and my c-section, and I finally figured out why it is I get all weepy (and not in a good way) whenever I think about that day.
I feel robbed.
I wanted so badly to have a natural birth. I wanted to be able to say that I'd had my baby naturally and loved every minute of it (which I had, up until the Pitocin kicked in). I wanted to videotape her little head coming out and Dan announcing the sex to everyone, and be able to go home and watch it all over and over again and relive that incredible miracle. But instead I had to lay there on a surgery table and do absolutely nothing while my baby was extracted rather than birthed into the world.
I don't blame myself for any of it; I did everything right that I was able to do. I don't feel guilty; a c/s was the only solution in the end. I just feel cheated out of one of those experiences that you only get one chance to have: the birth of my first child. I wasn't prepared for things to go that way--my pregnancy was so mellow and easy-going, comparatively speaking, I never imagined I wouldn't be able to have a natural birth. I wasn't prepared to experience two major events at the same time: birth and surgery. I wasn't expecting to have to deal with stitches and staples and eventually a major scar on my already stretch-mark-ravaged body. And having to deal with all those emotional things on top of the emotions that come with sleep-deprivation and the weighty responsibility of parenthood has really blindsided me.
So that's where I am right now. I'm sure these feelings will fade, especially the more time I spend contemplating just how amazing and beautiful Abby is. In the end, it doesn't matter how she came out; the important part is that she came out at all and is healthy.
And, speak of the devil, Her Highness has awakened (thank heavens--she was about to start her fifth hour of sleeping!) and looking for lunch. Guess that's my cue to exit...
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
And the winner is...
Thanks to everyone who entered the baby prediction contest! I devised a complex scoring system to determine the winner, and the high score went to Maaike van den Haak of Amsterdam! Maaike is also a new mom--her son, Matthijs, was born on Christmas Eve. Congratulations, Maaike!
Pictures!
Finally!!!
Yes, that says 9 and 1.3 pounds. Still can't get over that. I must have ingested some Miracle-Gro somewhere along the line.
Our little Weeble Wobble!
LOVE that face!
I could post about a hundred more, but I figure y'all would get bored. :) What can I say, I think she's perfect!
Yes, that says 9 and 1.3 pounds. Still can't get over that. I must have ingested some Miracle-Gro somewhere along the line.
Our little Weeble Wobble!
LOVE that face!
I could post about a hundred more, but I figure y'all would get bored. :) What can I say, I think she's perfect!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Oh yeah...
Yes, there are photos a-plenty coming soon to the blog, but I don't have the energy to go through the 200+ we've taken so far. :) I'll get a few up in the next 48 hours, I promise!!!!!
Welcome to the world!
Happy New Year! How appropriate that we would be bringing our baby home on the first day of 2006. We can’t wait to see what this year holds for us as parents!
The last 5 days have been a whirlwind. Everything started December 27th, the day after my official due date. I starting having contractions that morning, and they felt different from the contractions I’d been getting for the last couple weeks. Even so, they were sporadic, and I expected them to simply peter out like the others had. But by 10 PM I realized that they were getting much more regular and intense, and Dan wisely suggested I take a shower to help myself both relax and prepare for a trip to the hospital, just in case. After my shower, I sat in Dan’s office, timing the surges and fighting the urge to get very excited at the thought that this might actually be it. Over the next two and a half hours, the surges worked their way down to between 5 and 2 minutes apart, and I was fully engaged in my hypnobirthing visualization and breathing. At 12:30 we called Dr. Robinson, and she gave us the thumbs-up for going to the hospital, so we took one last belly photo and took off for Saddleback Women’s Hospital.
We called Tina, our birth coach, and she met us at the hospital. Flora, our first nurse, checked me out and gave us the good news: I was 3 cm and 90% effaced! Per Dr. Robinson’s orders, they had me walk the halls for 45 minutes to see if I would continue to dilate—which I did, to 4 cm, and at that point I was officially admitted to room 290.
The next few hours consisted of wearing a rut in the labor and delivery hallway and retreating to my hypnobirthing zone in various positions in our labor suite. I’d walk for half an hour or so, then relax and do my breathing exercises for another half hour. While Dan and I paced the floors together, we tried to decide what to do for a name if it was a girl—we’d settled on Holly because of my due date’s proximity to Christmas, but our first choice before we even got pregnant had been Abby. The name discussion (and the “Can you believe we’re actually having the baby now?!” discussion) kept my mind off the surges and helped me to actually enjoy the process I was going through. Finally, after all that work, I was up to 5 and a half—and by 10:30 I was at a nine! “A baby by lunch!” was the new cheer, and Tina announced she’d treat us to a take-out lunch from Ruby’s so I could have the chocolate milkshake I was suddenly craving.
Eleven-thirty, 12:30, 1:30….time passed and my body decided that 9 cm was a nice place to hang out. I was tired, but the hypnobirthing was still doing its thing, and I wasn’t really aware of how much time was passing. Every once in a while I’d doze off for a bit, and Pam, our nurse, was astounded at how easily I managed the pain and could actually sleep. (Pam would later decide to attend Tina’s next hypnobirthing class because she was so inspired by my performance. Apparently she was also bragging to the other nurses on duty about me!) However, my doctor wasn’t comfortable with the way things were going (or not going, as the case may be), and wanted to do a little investigating and experimenting to figure out what was going on and try to fix it. They measured the strength of my contractions, and decided they weren’t strong enough—possibly the reason I couldn’t get to that last centimeter. Their first solution was to break my water (everyone was shocked it still hadn’t broken, given all the strain it had been under and all the poking around they’d been doing)—but that didn’t change anything. Their second solution was one I’d been hoping wouldn’t come up—Pitocin. They hooked me up to that around 6:15, and that’s when things started to go downhill. The Pictocin not only made the contractions stronger, it basically strung all the contractions into one giant surge that never ended. At this point I’d been in labor for over 22 hours and awake for 34, and I could have handled it had I been less exhausted and frustrated with how things were going, but given the circumstances, it was just too much. I bore it for an hour and a half before mentally breaking down. In came the epidural, and I’ve never known such relief—I believe I actually uttered the clichéd, “I love you!” to my anesthesiologist.
My doctor encouraged me with the fact that many women progress after getting the epidural because their body is able to relax a bit and not be so stressed. However, after half an hour it was clear this wouldn’t be the case for me. My doctor, the wonderful, gentle woman she is, broke the news that a c-section would be the wisest course of action. Had she brought this up an hour previously, I would have burst into tears, but by this point, I didn’t care. I was tired, and all I wanted to do was meet my baby!
Into the OR we went, and at 8:56 PM, December 28th, Abigail Joy Morrow was pulled into the world, It turns out we had three strikes against us having a vaginal delivery: she was “sunny-side up,” misaligned with the birth canal, and over nine pounds! (Well, one ounce over, anyway!) They measured her as being 21 inches, but everyone agrees they didn’t stretch her enough. She instantly stopped crying when Dan began to talk to her and stared into his eyes like she actually understood him. Everyone marveled at her hair, which was so perfect it look combed, and at the fact that she looked nothing like a newborn. She looks at least a month old already!
It started out exactly like I’d hoped, and while the ending was the exact opposite of what I had dreamed of, the result was beyond anything I could have prayed for. Abby is absolutely perfect. She’s totally mellow, hardly ever cries, and has the most beautiful face! And Dan was amazing throughout the whole thing—he was so calm, despite the frustration I know he felt and how worried he was for me, and he never let me see his tension or concern. Kelli , my sister-in-law, drove with my brother from Bakersfield, CA in the middle of the night to be there as our photographer, and even jumped in to help now and then and keep track of the day’s timeline for us so we’d know later what happened when. Tina was the perfect birth coach—without her I don’t know if I would have stayed focused, especially when things started to get gnarly.
We’re home now, and the family room looks like an explosion in Babies R Us. As I type, Abby is sound asleep on her daddy’s chest, looking like the angel she is, and Dan and I are beside ourselves with all the blessings we’ve received with her arrival. It still hasn’t sunk in that she is our daughter—that she’ll be here for the rest of our lives, that we’re responsible for this little life—but I suppose the realization will come eventually. Until then we’re content to cater to her ever whim and stare at her while she does absolutely nothing of exception. Sounds like a decent way to spend my every waking moment!
The last 5 days have been a whirlwind. Everything started December 27th, the day after my official due date. I starting having contractions that morning, and they felt different from the contractions I’d been getting for the last couple weeks. Even so, they were sporadic, and I expected them to simply peter out like the others had. But by 10 PM I realized that they were getting much more regular and intense, and Dan wisely suggested I take a shower to help myself both relax and prepare for a trip to the hospital, just in case. After my shower, I sat in Dan’s office, timing the surges and fighting the urge to get very excited at the thought that this might actually be it. Over the next two and a half hours, the surges worked their way down to between 5 and 2 minutes apart, and I was fully engaged in my hypnobirthing visualization and breathing. At 12:30 we called Dr. Robinson, and she gave us the thumbs-up for going to the hospital, so we took one last belly photo and took off for Saddleback Women’s Hospital.
We called Tina, our birth coach, and she met us at the hospital. Flora, our first nurse, checked me out and gave us the good news: I was 3 cm and 90% effaced! Per Dr. Robinson’s orders, they had me walk the halls for 45 minutes to see if I would continue to dilate—which I did, to 4 cm, and at that point I was officially admitted to room 290.
The next few hours consisted of wearing a rut in the labor and delivery hallway and retreating to my hypnobirthing zone in various positions in our labor suite. I’d walk for half an hour or so, then relax and do my breathing exercises for another half hour. While Dan and I paced the floors together, we tried to decide what to do for a name if it was a girl—we’d settled on Holly because of my due date’s proximity to Christmas, but our first choice before we even got pregnant had been Abby. The name discussion (and the “Can you believe we’re actually having the baby now?!” discussion) kept my mind off the surges and helped me to actually enjoy the process I was going through. Finally, after all that work, I was up to 5 and a half—and by 10:30 I was at a nine! “A baby by lunch!” was the new cheer, and Tina announced she’d treat us to a take-out lunch from Ruby’s so I could have the chocolate milkshake I was suddenly craving.
Eleven-thirty, 12:30, 1:30….time passed and my body decided that 9 cm was a nice place to hang out. I was tired, but the hypnobirthing was still doing its thing, and I wasn’t really aware of how much time was passing. Every once in a while I’d doze off for a bit, and Pam, our nurse, was astounded at how easily I managed the pain and could actually sleep. (Pam would later decide to attend Tina’s next hypnobirthing class because she was so inspired by my performance. Apparently she was also bragging to the other nurses on duty about me!) However, my doctor wasn’t comfortable with the way things were going (or not going, as the case may be), and wanted to do a little investigating and experimenting to figure out what was going on and try to fix it. They measured the strength of my contractions, and decided they weren’t strong enough—possibly the reason I couldn’t get to that last centimeter. Their first solution was to break my water (everyone was shocked it still hadn’t broken, given all the strain it had been under and all the poking around they’d been doing)—but that didn’t change anything. Their second solution was one I’d been hoping wouldn’t come up—Pitocin. They hooked me up to that around 6:15, and that’s when things started to go downhill. The Pictocin not only made the contractions stronger, it basically strung all the contractions into one giant surge that never ended. At this point I’d been in labor for over 22 hours and awake for 34, and I could have handled it had I been less exhausted and frustrated with how things were going, but given the circumstances, it was just too much. I bore it for an hour and a half before mentally breaking down. In came the epidural, and I’ve never known such relief—I believe I actually uttered the clichéd, “I love you!” to my anesthesiologist.
My doctor encouraged me with the fact that many women progress after getting the epidural because their body is able to relax a bit and not be so stressed. However, after half an hour it was clear this wouldn’t be the case for me. My doctor, the wonderful, gentle woman she is, broke the news that a c-section would be the wisest course of action. Had she brought this up an hour previously, I would have burst into tears, but by this point, I didn’t care. I was tired, and all I wanted to do was meet my baby!
Into the OR we went, and at 8:56 PM, December 28th, Abigail Joy Morrow was pulled into the world, It turns out we had three strikes against us having a vaginal delivery: she was “sunny-side up,” misaligned with the birth canal, and over nine pounds! (Well, one ounce over, anyway!) They measured her as being 21 inches, but everyone agrees they didn’t stretch her enough. She instantly stopped crying when Dan began to talk to her and stared into his eyes like she actually understood him. Everyone marveled at her hair, which was so perfect it look combed, and at the fact that she looked nothing like a newborn. She looks at least a month old already!
It started out exactly like I’d hoped, and while the ending was the exact opposite of what I had dreamed of, the result was beyond anything I could have prayed for. Abby is absolutely perfect. She’s totally mellow, hardly ever cries, and has the most beautiful face! And Dan was amazing throughout the whole thing—he was so calm, despite the frustration I know he felt and how worried he was for me, and he never let me see his tension or concern. Kelli , my sister-in-law, drove with my brother from Bakersfield, CA in the middle of the night to be there as our photographer, and even jumped in to help now and then and keep track of the day’s timeline for us so we’d know later what happened when. Tina was the perfect birth coach—without her I don’t know if I would have stayed focused, especially when things started to get gnarly.
We’re home now, and the family room looks like an explosion in Babies R Us. As I type, Abby is sound asleep on her daddy’s chest, looking like the angel she is, and Dan and I are beside ourselves with all the blessings we’ve received with her arrival. It still hasn’t sunk in that she is our daughter—that she’ll be here for the rest of our lives, that we’re responsible for this little life—but I suppose the realization will come eventually. Until then we’re content to cater to her ever whim and stare at her while she does absolutely nothing of exception. Sounds like a decent way to spend my every waking moment!
Monday, December 26, 2005
The Day We've Been Waiting For...But Not
Well, today is the day we've been counting down to, and of course that doesn't really mean anything, but nevertheless, here it is. Last night was the most "productive" night of contractions that I've had so far--I timed them for three hours and the last hour they were between 6 and 9 minutes apart. Of course, after an hour they up and stopped, as they always do, but still, that has to be a good indictation of...something.
Good news for my friend Maaike, though! Maaike was one of the girls I met the year I lived in Scotland, and we've kept in touch over the years and visited each other, and it turns out we got preggo at the same time! She had her baby a few days ago, and the photos are adorable, so if you're up for some oohing and awwing, go to www.vanalphen.net/pictures/default.html.
So today is Chore Day. Laundry, cleaning, organizing, yadda yadda yadda. Such fun. Can't wait till I have the baby here and have a good reason to blow it all off! :)
Good news for my friend Maaike, though! Maaike was one of the girls I met the year I lived in Scotland, and we've kept in touch over the years and visited each other, and it turns out we got preggo at the same time! She had her baby a few days ago, and the photos are adorable, so if you're up for some oohing and awwing, go to www.vanalphen.net/pictures/default.html.
So today is Chore Day. Laundry, cleaning, organizing, yadda yadda yadda. Such fun. Can't wait till I have the baby here and have a good reason to blow it all off! :)
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Looking Up
Well, the drama and emotion of the last couple days has worn off and I'm doing better with the fact that the baby isn't going to be here for Christmas. I have a killer prayer team who really pulled through for me yesterday--I attribute my miraculous decrease in leg pain and boost in spirits to them. (Thank you, small group!!!) My doctor's office called yesterday to give me the lowdown on induction, and it turns out they've already set the date. So, if nothing else, I can say with certainty that we will have a baby by January 6. The induction itself starts on the 4th with a balloon which they insert into the cervix and then inflate to pressure the cervix to dilate. Then on the 5th we go into the hospital around 7 AM (if I don't go into labor before then, that is) and they'll start me on Pitocin if I'm not contracting. Hopefully things will move quickly and it won't stretch to the 6th, but I can't imagine them letting it go past that. Frankly, I can't imagine lasting till the 4th--but then again, I couldn't imagine lasting till now, and here I am.
So tonight we'll go to one of the Christmas Eve services at church, then tomorrow we'll go to Mom and Dad's for family Christmas. Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, roast beef and Yorkshire pudding for lunch....mmmm, a good eats day. :)
Probably won't post till Monday or later, so hey everyone--have a blessed Christmas!
So tonight we'll go to one of the Christmas Eve services at church, then tomorrow we'll go to Mom and Dad's for family Christmas. Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, roast beef and Yorkshire pudding for lunch....mmmm, a good eats day. :)
Probably won't post till Monday or later, so hey everyone--have a blessed Christmas!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
:(
Had my latest OB appointment today and, despite the fact that I've had some whopper contractions lately, I'm still only 1 cm and 30% effaced. In other words, ain't nothin' happenin'. It was not a happy appointment. I cried. A lot. A little embarrassing, but luckily I have a very cool doctor and she's very encouraging. Part of it was frustration, part of it was exhaustion from getting no sleep last night thanks to a horrendous back spasm that had me basically immobile for half an hour and made it nearly impossible to walk this morning, and part of it was the tremendous let down of knowing that the chances are better I'll be having a January baby than a December one. My next appointment is next Thursday, and she said we'll discuss possible induction dates then. That means I won't even be induced until January. Just what this family needs, a fourth January birthday.
So yeah, sucky day in Alisonland. I'm feeling very disconnected from things at the moment--disconnected from the baby because it all just feels like fiction, disconnected from Christmas because I've been focusing so much on the baby. I'm sure a good night's sleep will help me out some, and thankfully my doctor gave me an rx for Ambien, so I may actually get some good sleep for once. And then tomorrow I'll probably go in for another chiropractic appointment--she spent 45 minutes on me this morning trying to work out the kinks that had built up--and that will hopefully help me relax, if nothing else. I can't wait until I can get a decent massage; I feel like I'm going to need a vacation by the time this baby gets here.
So yeah, sucky day in Alisonland. I'm feeling very disconnected from things at the moment--disconnected from the baby because it all just feels like fiction, disconnected from Christmas because I've been focusing so much on the baby. I'm sure a good night's sleep will help me out some, and thankfully my doctor gave me an rx for Ambien, so I may actually get some good sleep for once. And then tomorrow I'll probably go in for another chiropractic appointment--she spent 45 minutes on me this morning trying to work out the kinks that had built up--and that will hopefully help me relax, if nothing else. I can't wait until I can get a decent massage; I feel like I'm going to need a vacation by the time this baby gets here.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
The Numbers Game
9, 6, 9, 11, 16
30, 15, 25, 15, 15
DOn't bother looking for a pattern; there isn't one. And that's what's so freaking annoying, because those numbers represent the minutes between contractions that I've timed so far. The first set actually started right after I posted the last time, and the second were during "Chronicles of Narnia," which Dan and I went to see last night. Oddly, I'm only ever able to get 5 intervals, because then they stop.
WHY DO THEY STOP!??!?!?!?!
So tomorrow is my next appointment. Pray, please, that the doctor looks at me in astonishment and says, "Get thee to labor and delivery! You're 8 centimeters dilated!" Wishful thinking, I know, but hey, 'tis the season that is based on birth-related miracles, is it not?
-Alison
30, 15, 25, 15, 15
DOn't bother looking for a pattern; there isn't one. And that's what's so freaking annoying, because those numbers represent the minutes between contractions that I've timed so far. The first set actually started right after I posted the last time, and the second were during "Chronicles of Narnia," which Dan and I went to see last night. Oddly, I'm only ever able to get 5 intervals, because then they stop.
WHY DO THEY STOP!??!?!?!?!
So tomorrow is my next appointment. Pray, please, that the doctor looks at me in astonishment and says, "Get thee to labor and delivery! You're 8 centimeters dilated!" Wishful thinking, I know, but hey, 'tis the season that is based on birth-related miracles, is it not?
-Alison
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
"Pregnant Forever," film at 11
Rancho Santa Margarita, CA--A local woman declared today that she believes she will be the first woman in history to be pregnant forever. "It's not the kind of record I'd hoped to set in my lifetime," said Alison Morrow, 29, "but for some reason it's my burden to bear." While her due date is technically still 6 days away, Morrow claims there has been nothing happening to give any indication that the birth is near, and that the baby seems quite content to just stay where it is indefinitely. "There's a first time for everything," she said as she gazed into the nursery that she fears will never be used, "and while some might say, 'Why me?' I say, 'Why not me?' It was bound to happen to someone eventually. I just hope that my doctors are able to come to an understanding of why this is happening so that others may be helped--if there are others who find themselves in the same situation."
Morrow said she'd been wondering lately if perhaps the being inside her was truly human, or if she was somehow carrying some kind of alien life form. "It would certainly explain the mind-boggling movement I've been experiencing. Who's to say there's not some alien race out there using my body as an experiment?" She could not pinpoint a time when she may have been abducted, but points out that a race capable of creating a lifeform that never births could easily come up with ways to conceive that lifeform in a human without her knowing it.
What will she do while she remains pregnant for the rest of her life? "Milk it for all it's worth," she exclaimed. "Forgetfulness, laziness, chocolate cravings--I can deny responsibility for these traits forever. People will forgive you practically anything once they glimpse your burgeoning belly." We had more questions for Morrow, but our interview with her was cut short when she was overcome by the need for Christmas cookies.
Morrow said she'd been wondering lately if perhaps the being inside her was truly human, or if she was somehow carrying some kind of alien life form. "It would certainly explain the mind-boggling movement I've been experiencing. Who's to say there's not some alien race out there using my body as an experiment?" She could not pinpoint a time when she may have been abducted, but points out that a race capable of creating a lifeform that never births could easily come up with ways to conceive that lifeform in a human without her knowing it.
What will she do while she remains pregnant for the rest of her life? "Milk it for all it's worth," she exclaimed. "Forgetfulness, laziness, chocolate cravings--I can deny responsibility for these traits forever. People will forgive you practically anything once they glimpse your burgeoning belly." We had more questions for Morrow, but our interview with her was cut short when she was overcome by the need for Christmas cookies.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Off target
Well, today was our target date for the birth, and it has come and gone. I'm still not actually due for another week, though, so it's not that surprising.
I can't believe Christmas is a week from today. When we found out we were pregnant all those months ago, it just seemed so far away, and here we are, down to the wire with only a few days left to get this kid out by the holiday. Truth be told, I'm starting to think I'll be late, and I feel like I'm in mourning for the ideal I'd been praying for for so long. It would have meant so much to me to have my baby with me on Christmas, and yeah, I know it's still possible, but chances are slim and I have to deal with that.
Blah.
I can't believe Christmas is a week from today. When we found out we were pregnant all those months ago, it just seemed so far away, and here we are, down to the wire with only a few days left to get this kid out by the holiday. Truth be told, I'm starting to think I'll be late, and I feel like I'm in mourning for the ideal I'd been praying for for so long. It would have meant so much to me to have my baby with me on Christmas, and yeah, I know it's still possible, but chances are slim and I have to deal with that.
Blah.
Monday, December 12, 2005
We have progress!
Not much, but any progress is better than none: 1 cm dilated and 20% effaced, hallelujah! I was up for over an hour last night with practice labor and back spasms, so I'm glad I have something to show for it, however small it might be. I know that some women go for weeks at 1 or 2 cm, so it's not like this means labor is imminent--and wouldn't you know it, the doctor isn't even on call this weekend, which was our target weekend that we've been intentioning with hypnobirth since, like, September, so it would actually sorta suck if the baby came the 18th like we've been hoping and praying. But hey, any time this week would be good, and Christmas isn't until a week from Sunday, so we still have plenty of time to work with here. Funny, the nurse was telling me about a woman who is desperate to have her baby ON Christmas, which is what we've been trying to avoid all along. 'Course, that would mean this woman would be having her baby at 43 and half weeks! Can you imagine WANTING to be pregnant that long!?
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Shocking.
I actually slept last night. Not the entire night--oh, heavens no, that would be unheard of--but in much longer stretches than usual. And without any leg cramps, hallelujah. My secret? The recliner! Yes, I have ditched the bed for the recliner in the living room, which allows me to give my body a break from being on its side and lets me sleep on my back, surrounded, of course, by pillows galore. But hey, it worked, so I'm happy. I didn't wake up for good until almost 8:30, which is the latest I've slept in a really long time, and I think the longest I was up for in the middle of the night was maybe 45 minutes. And I'm pretty sure I only woke up twice. Not bad at all! Now, one might think that getting all that sleep and waking up relatively refreshed (and, for once, NOT feeling like a 90-year-old arthritic) would mean I'd be buzzing around getting things done today. Not so much. Had breakfast, had a shower, got the mail, made a milkshake, and really that's about all I've had the energy to do. The list of things I need to do is growing by the minute, and really I don't care. Heck, it took me twenty minutes to gather the strength to get upstairs and check my email, and that's something I actually wantwant to do--what will it take to get the strength to, say, clean the bathroom or closet or look for my hot glue gun so I can finish our Christmas wreath? No thanks. I'm just going to sit here and think of more reasons to stare at my computer so I don't have to tackle all those other pesky chores, and dream of going back to sleep tonight.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Full term!
As of yesterday, I am officially considered full term, and this baby can safely make its appearance any time now. THANK HEAVENS. I am SO ready to be done. Just got back from the OB and she said "Things look good." (She's a woman of few words.) No dilating yet, but the baby is definitely head-down, so hallelujah for that. I did the baby's laundry last night--what is it about socks that are only two inches long that is just SO DANG CUTE?!--and everything is organized in the closet and armoire. I shuffled some of the kitchen drawer contents to make room for bibs and bottle stuff last night, too.
And now we wait. Hopefully not too long, though...
And now we wait. Hopefully not too long, though...
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Baby Shower!
Yesterday was my big baby shower. It rocked! About 22 women there, tons of awesome gifts, and great food. My friends that put it together really outdid themselves. Dan and I spent today at Babies R Us and Target picking up the last necessities that we'll REALLY need when the baby comes--still lots of stuff to be purchased, but none of it immediately important. For wee little things, babies sure do need a lot of stuff, you know? Well, I suppose that's not entirely true--we as 21st century parents simply expect that certain conveniences, like Pack N' Plays and Boppy pillows and bouncy seats, should be used because they exist and are such great ideas. And what can I say--I've bought that idea hook, line, and sinker.
There were lots of babies there yesterday, and all of them were very well-behaved and cute. (Like that last part is hard.) We lined them up for this great photo--do they or do they not look like a bunch of Cabbage Patch Kids?!
There were lots of babies there yesterday, and all of them were very well-behaved and cute. (Like that last part is hard.) We lined them up for this great photo--do they or do they not look like a bunch of Cabbage Patch Kids?!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
All's well
Just thought I'd post real quick to let y'all know that nothing has been going on with those contractions for the last day and a half. They stopped yesterday morning. Good thing, seeing as we have absolutely nothing for the baby--the shower is on Saturday. (Actually, that's not entirely true; our small group hosted a shower for us on Monday, so we have some adorable clothes, crib sheets, blankets, etc. But still not all that I think we probably need.)
Tina, our hypnobirth instructor, thinks that it may have been the baby going head down that triggered them in the first place, which would be wonderful. It's been moving a lot, but I haven't felt any "turning" sensations, so hopefully it turned before our Tuesday class and I just didn't know it. Our next doctor appointment is on Tuesday, so I guess we'll see then...
Tina, our hypnobirth instructor, thinks that it may have been the baby going head down that triggered them in the first place, which would be wonderful. It's been moving a lot, but I haven't felt any "turning" sensations, so hopefully it turned before our Tuesday class and I just didn't know it. Our next doctor appointment is on Tuesday, so I guess we'll see then...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
The Party's Started...
So I started having this weird pressure way down low in my abdomen this afternoon, right before we left for our last hypnobirthing class. It would come and go, and when I tried to get off the couch, it was so strong it was hard to stand up straight. "Maybe this is the baby finally turning!" I thought. When we got to our class, I told our practitioner that the baby hadn't yet gone head down, at least to my knowledge. "Although I've had this pressure--oops, it's happening again!" She came over and poked and prodded and said, "Honey, that's a contraction." Then she got all excited. "But do you see what you did?" she asked. "You've trained yourself to feel pressure and not pain!" That's one of the major points of hypnobirthing, and the one thing I was worried I wouldn't be able to do, and she was right--it never really hurt, it was just...pressure. Pushing. Somewhat stronger pushing now and then, but pressurey-pushing nonetheless. Now, I know that it's going to get a LOT more intense than that, but I'm on the right path anyway, and that's encouraging.
It's been 5 and a half hours since my first one, and I've been getting them on and off ever since. For a while they were coming very quickly, every two or three minutes, but would only last for 15-30 seconds, and the intensity never got any stronger. At one point I had one last for about 4 minutes with varying strength, but it went away, and after a leisurely stroll through Target looking for a stopwatch (which, go figure, they don't sell) they went away. But since we've been home (and I've been packing my labor bag) they've started to come back a little.
The bummer, though, is that the baby still hasn't flipped! Our practitioner did a hypno-script with me at class that is meant to help the baby turn, and she said it should work within 12 hours, and to spend a good half hour or so in the "polar bear" position (a sort of hunkered-down squat that helps disengage the baby from whatever position it's in so it can turn) to help it along. So now that the labor bag is packed (all I need to get is the stopwatch and the scrapbooking paper that I want to get the baby's foot/hand prints on) I'm off to get ready for bed and "hunker down." Turn baby, turn!!
It's been 5 and a half hours since my first one, and I've been getting them on and off ever since. For a while they were coming very quickly, every two or three minutes, but would only last for 15-30 seconds, and the intensity never got any stronger. At one point I had one last for about 4 minutes with varying strength, but it went away, and after a leisurely stroll through Target looking for a stopwatch (which, go figure, they don't sell) they went away. But since we've been home (and I've been packing my labor bag) they've started to come back a little.
The bummer, though, is that the baby still hasn't flipped! Our practitioner did a hypno-script with me at class that is meant to help the baby turn, and she said it should work within 12 hours, and to spend a good half hour or so in the "polar bear" position (a sort of hunkered-down squat that helps disengage the baby from whatever position it's in so it can turn) to help it along. So now that the labor bag is packed (all I need to get is the stopwatch and the scrapbooking paper that I want to get the baby's foot/hand prints on) I'm off to get ready for bed and "hunker down." Turn baby, turn!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Almost done!
Well, we finally got the furniture for the nursery, and this weekend we painted the rom--it's beautiful! All that's left is to assemble the crib and put up the border. It already looks so precious; I'm so happy with the furniture we chose, and the new bedding is fantastic, too. The walls are a light green and light blue, and it looks so happy and inviting!
Next week I have two baby showers--our small group is hosting one for us, and then my "big" one with everyone else is that Saturday. I can't wait. I love parties, and I'll admit it, I love gifts. Especially when they're for a specific thing, like for my baby! And the guest list is HUGE--I think a total of around 40 people! Egads! I'm just glad the baby's room will be done by then so we have a place to put everything. We're having the big shower here, so it'll be a lot easier to get everything put away; were it somewhere else I just know we'd end up bringing everything in from the car and sticking it in the living room, where it would stay until the baby came. :) Maybe this means I'll actually have everything organized and ready to go by the time s/he makes an appearance!
Next week I have two baby showers--our small group is hosting one for us, and then my "big" one with everyone else is that Saturday. I can't wait. I love parties, and I'll admit it, I love gifts. Especially when they're for a specific thing, like for my baby! And the guest list is HUGE--I think a total of around 40 people! Egads! I'm just glad the baby's room will be done by then so we have a place to put everything. We're having the big shower here, so it'll be a lot easier to get everything put away; were it somewhere else I just know we'd end up bringing everything in from the car and sticking it in the living room, where it would stay until the baby came. :) Maybe this means I'll actually have everything organized and ready to go by the time s/he makes an appearance!
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Out Of It
So I suddenly realized that it's been forever since I blogged on either of my sites. I've been so out of it lately; please forgive me, all 5 or so of you that regularly read it. :) Quick update: as of Tuesday I will be 35 weeks, and as of today I have hit the big 2-0-0. Yes, that's 200 pounds--nearly 70 gained since April. Egads. Today Dan picks up the nursery furniture, and yesterday we finally cleaned out the room completely so that painting can commence. I've been trying to walk at least two laps around the lake every morning, although I didn't go yesterday because my feet were just too dang sore--it's really sad when you wake up and they still hurt from the day before. Twice last week I fell asleep while practicing my hypnobirth, and both times I was only about 4 hours into my day--and I never take naps, much less before noon! I'm in a bit of a daze most of the time, at least that's what it feels like--I'm not, like sitting around staring at the walls, but I'm not exactly exerting a whole lot of mental energy, either. I did, however, manage to get pretty much caught up in my pregnancy journal, so that was a huge accomplishment, and I also got most of my Christmas card envelopes addressed, which is a huge load off my mind. Some Christmas shopping is done, thank heavens--doing the whole walk-the-mall thing is getting less and less enjoyable (since walking = waddling and a whole lot of sitting every time I find a bench)--and I think I'll try to do the rest online so I don't have to go out anymore.
The baby is moving like mad--kicked so hard the other day I nearly dropped the glass of water I was resting on my belly. I just sit and stare at my stomach at night, which is when the baby seems most active--it's incredible to watch. But honestly, I'm done with the whole pregnancy thing. I'm over it. I'm ready to move on. I know I've said that before, but I really mean it now. I've run out of clothes that fit, for the most part--I have about a week's worth of shirts, plus about three pairs of pants or shorts--and I'm so tired of waking up in pain: leg cramps, back spasms, sore feet, weird aches I can't even explain. Enough! Let's get on with it already! The second Dan finishes his finals I'm doing every single one of those home remedies that supposedly put you into labor. It's time to get this show on the road and move on to motherhood.
The baby is moving like mad--kicked so hard the other day I nearly dropped the glass of water I was resting on my belly. I just sit and stare at my stomach at night, which is when the baby seems most active--it's incredible to watch. But honestly, I'm done with the whole pregnancy thing. I'm over it. I'm ready to move on. I know I've said that before, but I really mean it now. I've run out of clothes that fit, for the most part--I have about a week's worth of shirts, plus about three pairs of pants or shorts--and I'm so tired of waking up in pain: leg cramps, back spasms, sore feet, weird aches I can't even explain. Enough! Let's get on with it already! The second Dan finishes his finals I'm doing every single one of those home remedies that supposedly put you into labor. It's time to get this show on the road and move on to motherhood.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
All Warm and Fuzzy Inside...
I'm folding laundry and flipping around on TV and I came across Bob Ross' "The Joy of Painting." I absolutely LOVE this show. Part of it is that I just love watching visual artists create. It gives me a tingly feeling inside when a line of paint suddenly turns into a tree, or a few swipes with the broad brush turns a blank canvas into a winter scene with a blanket of snow on the ground.
But most of the reason why I love the show is because Bob is just the calmest, most peaceful person I've ever seen. His voice is so soothing, and his manner so disarming. The best part is how supportive he is of his viewers who may be following along and creating their own masterpiece. "Why don't we just drop a little evergreen in here? I'm gonna put mine right in this corner...but you can put yours wherever you want. It's your painting, and whatever you do is going to be perfect." All said in a voice so soft and relaxed that you almost have to turn up the volume just to hear him clearly. It's hypnotizing, honestly; I found myself gaping at the TV through half-closed eyes and a t-shirt in my hands waiting to be folded. I'm actually considering looking for his videos to bring to the hospital with me--I think they'd relax me even more than my hypnobirth CD. Wonder if he's on DVD...
But most of the reason why I love the show is because Bob is just the calmest, most peaceful person I've ever seen. His voice is so soothing, and his manner so disarming. The best part is how supportive he is of his viewers who may be following along and creating their own masterpiece. "Why don't we just drop a little evergreen in here? I'm gonna put mine right in this corner...but you can put yours wherever you want. It's your painting, and whatever you do is going to be perfect." All said in a voice so soft and relaxed that you almost have to turn up the volume just to hear him clearly. It's hypnotizing, honestly; I found myself gaping at the TV through half-closed eyes and a t-shirt in my hands waiting to be folded. I'm actually considering looking for his videos to bring to the hospital with me--I think they'd relax me even more than my hypnobirth CD. Wonder if he's on DVD...
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