Adventures at Angels Stadium

Thanks to our friends Marcela and Brian, we got to go to the Angels vs. Red Sox game on Thursday night. We weren't sure how it would go with Abby, since all she wants these days is to crawl and walk, but they were bringing their 10-month-old, Brendan, so I figured Marcela and I could take the kids for a walk if they started getting antsy.

We got there a few minutes after it had started (thanks, traffic) and Abby slept the entire way there, so that was fantastic timing. She was in a good mood going in, and for the first two innings she did great on my lap, standing and bouncing and being entertained by the woman behind us and by Brendan. Then the foul ball came.

We were in row G behind third base--prime broken bat and foul ball territory. Dan and Brian sat on our right so they could shield us from anything that happened to come winging our way. Well, a foul ball got smacked straight to our section, and when I realized it was actually coming really close, I hunched over Abby and tried to cover her head with my arm. The ball went about two rows in front of us, but someone behind us tried to go for it anyway (why?!?!) and landed ON ME. I got smashed into the top edge of the chair's back and my cheek got smooshed, too. I felt like Id have a bruise under my eye, but thankfully I didn't, although I do have a knot on my back from the chair back. And even though Abby didn't get touched, she did get a little squashed when I got squashed, and she was totally traumatized.

She sobbed for quite a while, and then, when she settled down, it was like she was in shock. Dan held her for 15 minutes and she never moved; just had her face pressed against his chest, staring at nothing, looking stunned. After a while I took her and put her in my new (and totally awesome) sling, and she did the same thing: just sat there, huddled against me, not moving.

After a while, around inning 6, I nursed her (my first nursing in public experience, and no one around us was the wiser, thanks to that sling!), because I figured she had to be hungry (hadn't eaten since before we left!) and maybe that would snap her out of it. And it did! They played "Feel Good, Inc." which is a song by The Gorillaz, and Dan and I sing the little intro to her sometimes and it makes her laugh, and when I sang along she smiled. I pulled her out of the sling and stood her up and it was like she'd just woken up: looking around, checking things out as though seeing them for the first time. Poor baby girl. Dan and I felt awful that she was so freaked out. But even after all that she didn't get wigged out by the cheering and yelling and gasping of the 43,000+ crowd. Personal growth! Yay Abby!

Progress

At My Gym yesterday we did the bubble thing again, and Abby didn't cry! Yay! I don't have a wimpy child!

She's all over the furniture now, doing the whole cruising thing. No more plopping her on the floor so I can run to the bathroom or go put my contacts in in the mornings. *sigh*

We have crawling!

Yes! She did it! And, more importantly, continues to do it. Her only motivation, however, is to get over to something she can use to stand up. Or to grab the cord to my laptop. Figures. Honestly, I don't care why she crawls, as long as she does--I'm just hoping now she'll realize it's easier to do and doesn't require a stationary object to hold on to. All this furniture-cruising and pulling-up stuff has me terrified. I just know the one time I'm not looking she'll bite it on the floor and break her adorable little nose or something. And really, it is the most adorable nose. I'd hate to see it crushed.

Saints Preserve Us

Well, she did it. I came out of the kitchen and there she was: STANDING, on her own, next to Dan's recliner, looking pleased as punch. (Albeit a little shaky on those legs--she doesn't get yet that a wider stance gives her more stability, and she tends to put her feet right next to each other.) The rest of the morning she insisted on being up and hanging on to something. I recorded this milestone in her baby book in the last remaining moments I had alone on the couch before she wrangled me into service as her spotter for the next couple hours. She started cruising a little, too, but instead of shuffling her feet along, she crosses one over the other, and most of the time the crossed-over foot gets caught when she tries to bring it around, so I did a lot of catching. She also seems to think she can let go of whatever is holding her up and lunge to grab things. I see many a face-plant in her future.

So I'm looking around the living room and realizing we're nowhere near having this place baby-proofed. Other than the edge of the hearth, which we put bumpers on when she started rolling, nothing is ready. Even though she's been able to move by rolling around, she hasn't expressed that much interest non-baby things--plus she moved slowly enough that we could get to her before she got into trouble. But lately, cords are catching her eye, and remotes, and paper (the smaller the scrap, the better)...I'm sure electrical outlets and whatever she can reach on tabletops are right around the corner. And now, with this whole walking thing on the horizon...yikes.

Who says you have to crawl before you can walk?

Well, it looks like Abby will be bypassing the crawling stage altogether. She is so close, but she just won't move her hands forward when she moves her legs. Instead, she pushes her legs and braces her hands on the ground, and eventually her feet and knees slip out from under her and she ends up back on her belly. Then, if she's still motivated, she'll keep pushing with her arms and end up sliding ever so slowly backwards.

But lately she's not even doing that. She's getting her knees under her, then pushing onto her feet to try to stand. And yesterday she was holding onto my thumbs while she stood, and she let go--and I didn't hold on. She stood on her own for five whole seconds--not long unless you're counting and expecting her to fall and she's not. Now all she does when she's on the floor is try to stand up. If we sit on the floor with her, we become mere props to, well, prop her up.

Suddenly I'm aware of how unprepared I am for a child who moves.

Extreme Cuddling

Trying to snuggle in bed with hubby and baby is not nearly as pictureque and sweet as one might hope when the baby wants nothing more than to stand and bounce on your stomach. So went our morning.

And speaking of cuddling--she hugs now! She wraps her arms around my neck and rests her head on my shoulder for just a moment then pushes off to grab my hair, or chew my chin, or whatever else she may feel like doing. But it's so adorable. And she sits in my lap now when she's first woken up or getting close to naptime, and lets me hug her or read her a book. I love it. I'm so glad I had a kid who likes to cuddle--at least at this age. Long may it last!

Updates, updates

Well, it's been quite the time around here lately. Last Thursday Abby got sick for the first time--and she did it up big! I'd been awake around 4:30 and was just falling back to sleep when I hear her suddenly start gagging and choking next to me, but she's not moving or anything. I sit her up quick and am rewarded with vomit all over my pj's and the bed. (I've hit the P-trifecta: I've been baptised in pee, poop, and puke!) Dan changes the sheets while I clean her up and change both our clothes. Luckily she's in a fine mood, smiling at herself in the bathroom mirror and everything. Back to bed around 5:15, and at 5:30--same thing! Choke, gag, sit her up, woosh. This time I turned her towards me so the bed didn't get hit (we only have two sets of sheets!). In the end, she threw up 4 times and had diarrhea until Monday or so. She still doesn't have much of an appetite--she eats hardly any solid food at all, although she's nursing back on schedule now, so that's good. Poor kid.

She is so close to crawling you almost get the sense she knows what to do but is just choosing not to do it. However, I wouldn't be surprised if she skipped crawling altogether--twice yesterday she pulled herself up to standing without any help (other than letting her hold our hands). She manages to shimmy around on the floor, but you don't really notice it; you just realize at some point that she's 5 feet from where you set her down.

My favorite new development, however, is that she likes books! She gets herself scooted over to a book and then fussses until you pick it up and read it to her. And if you set her in your lap to read she actually sits there. So far she only goes for board books; if I try books with real pages she just wants to pull at them and chew the covers. (Oddly, she does not chew the board books.) And since we only have three board books...well, lets just say that I can "read" all three books to her while simultaneously watching TV. Her favorite is "Belly Button Book!" by Sandra Boynton. (Luckily it's my favorite, too.) So I guess we'll be on the hunt for more books soon.

She still loves going to My Gym with her 9-month-old friend, Brendan. The one thing there she does not like is the bubbles. Yes, my child is a bubble-phobic. Not sure why. When we went to visit Dan's parents this weekend (during which Dan got what Abby had, but about 10 times worse), Dan's mom ("Greena" is what our nephew Simon calls her) got out the bubbles that Simon loves so much. She blew about three or four and Abby went ballistic. What the heck?!

We took her to the park for the first time last night. It was about 7 PM and she was bored out of her mind, and I felt bad for her being stuck here all day, so into the car we went to go somewhere and swing since she loves swings so much. Well, it took us three stops before we actually found a park with swings--what's up with that?!--but it was teeming with kids, so two more stops later we finally found a park with swings and hardly any kids. (Sad: Dan was pushing Abby and I hopped onto one of the "big kid" swings, thinking, "I used to love swinging!" Well, turns out my stomach can't handle it anymore and I nearly hurled. I was so bummed.) Abby really enjoyed it--swings, slides, see-saws, and it's a cute little park, too, lots of grass and hills and a little ampetheater and roller hockey rink. It's right across the street from the library, which I have a feeling we'll be visiting quite a lot for the next few years. That makes me happy. I wish we lived a little closer so Abby could go there alone when she got older. I remember trekking to the library all the time as a kid, and it was quite the distance, too, but not with the kinds of big roads that we have here. And it's sad--I get the sense people just don't let their kids do that kind of take-off-for-hours-on-end-just-be-home-in-time-for-dinner stuff anymore. So unfortunate.

Weird skill

So abby has developed this new skill of nearly breaking my finger. She'll grab my pointer finger with her freakishly strong death-grip, then plant her hand in my palm and push while pulling my finger. She's been doing this a lot lately, especially when I nurse her or in the car (no idea what the correlation is) and more than a few times I've let out a real yelp and had to snatch my hand away (or at least try--she really is strong!) because she about snapped my finger in two.


Oh, and she's finally growing some hair! It's starting to look a lot darker and thicker than it has the last few months. Yay! I can't wait till she doesn't look like a boy anymore. It doesn't matter how much pink we dress her in, someone still always asks, "How old is he?"

Reality

Like all new moms, I embarked on this journey with all sorts of ideals and resolves--for example, "Television?! Not for my baby! Heavens no! Music, and books, and pattycake and peek-a-boo, but no TV!" Reality: the DVD I told myself I'd just play once or twice now gets played once or twice A DAY, and when I pick up the TV remote, Abby breaks into a huge grin and turns to face the TV before I've even turned it on.

*sigh*

Oh well. Win some, lose some. At least it's praise music and not soap operas.

Sleep, beautiful sleep

Seven straight hours! Yesss! Thursday night Abby and I went to bed at 11 and I fed her before she went down, and when she woke up to eat again at 12:30 I thought, "Oh man, here we go." At 2:30 she started squirming, but I gave her back her paci and she went back to sleep and, thankfully, so did I. Next thing I know, it's 7:30 in the morning! So even though I woke up once in the middle of the night, I'm counting this as sleeping through the night. Woohoo! Unfortunately she didn't do it last night, but that's okay. She had squash twice Thursday, so I'm wondering if it somehow fills her more than one serving of squash and one green beans. Today she's getting two squash servings as well as green beans, so who knows, maybe we'll get another solid night. Here's to hoping...

Pictorial Update

Pictorial is the word I'm looking for, right?

Here's her first bite of green beans. Obviously not a big hit. Dan couldn't even bring himself to watch; he felt truly awful for "putting her through this." I managed to get three bites into her, and the next day, four. On the third day I tried a new tactic: instead of apologizing the whole time ("I know it's icky, honey, I'm so sorry!"), I cheered her through them ("Oooh! Yummy! Green beans are soooo good! Yay!" *lots of clapping and lip smacking). She ate the entire bowlful!

Poor kid. I really did feel pretty bad. She actually gagged at one point. Truly her father's daughter.

Where's my dictionary...

Is "blah" a word? If so, Abby has officially spoken her first word--over and over and over. :)

Six Month Stats

Wednesday was Abby's 6 month birthday, and on Thursday we went to the doctor for her well-baby check up (which, if you ask me, are pretty pointless). Her new stats are: 26 and 3/4 inches tall (an inch and a quarter more than her 4 month measurement) and 16 lbs, 14 oz. (up from an even 15 back in April).

She's developed all sorts of new tricks. Just yesterday she began sticking out her tongue to be cute (along with a devilish smile that just makes me laugh), and then she'll blow a raspberry (or whatever you want to call it). Last week we got her an activity center, and she loves it. Rather than being the kind where the kid sits in the center and is surrounded by stuff, this one has a "hub" with all the stuff and a seat tethered to the outside with wheels on the bottom--the kid sits in the seat and can then walk around the activity hub. Up until yesterday she would just kind of lean and let her body's weight pull her around, but then yesterday (precicely at the same time that I'm telling a visiting friend that she doesn't actually walk in the seat) she started walking--yes, actually walking--around the hub on her little tiptoes. Priceless! Her two favorite toys on the hub are the five key piano (she'll bang on them and just laugh) and a rubber toucan that has this nice bulbous head for her to chew on. It's the first thing she goes for when we set her in the seat. (Ah, teething.)

So far no crawling, although she's kind of close. She gets one knee up, but doesn't get that she needs to get the other knee under her. She does, however, push herself up off her elbows now, so that's an improvement.

The doctor said she's a good two weeks away from having any teeth come through, which sucks, but at least she's not in pain every single day. Yesterday she was fine, and so far today has been a good day, too.

Dan's new game with Abby (for some reason she doesn't like it nearly as much when I try it) is to play peek-a-boo, although we discovered the other day that you don't actually have to hide, just look at her and say, "Peek-a-boo!" in a fun voice and she'll laugh just as hard.

Oh yeah, she also loves screeching now. Swell.

Poor Baby

Teething once again rears its ugly head, and today it brought a fever with it. :( Poor Abby had to suffer through her mom's cluelessness for the entire morning until I realized she wasn't just hot because of the weather. She is scheduled for her six month check up tomorrow and is supposed to get her next Hib shot, so I guess we'll be rescheduling the shot for a later date, since you're not supposed to immunize kids with fevers. But can you believe it: six months?! Talk about time flying.

Coming soon: photos of her first bite of green beans. (Oh, the drama!)

Our Little Angel's First Angel's Game!

It turned out to be a bit of a lousy night, but even so, Abby was adorable! We only made it through the end of the 5th inning; Dan had suffered another migraine that afternoon and was really knocked out from the pain shot the doctor gave him two hours before we left, and Abby wasn't as wowed by the vast expanse of green before us as I'd hoped she'd be and wanted me to walk around the pavilion with her the whole time. Quite the bummer, since we had first row seats in "Vlad's Pad"--the right outfield section where Vladimir Guerrero fields, and Abby and I were both wearing his number, too!--and it was a beautiful night to watch a game. But oh well. They ended up losing 3-4 to the Royals, so it would have been depressing anyway.
They've got girlie pink Angels-wear, but hello, their colors are red and blue, not pink! So, to make sure it was obvious Abby was a girl, I bought some red ribbon and some clip-on flowers for her to wear with her Angels jumper. My sewing machine has a decorative stitch that looks like baseball stitching, so I sewed that on in white. She got so many ooh's and aww's at the ballpark. Everywhere we went, you'd hear people near us say, "Oh my gosh! Look at that cute baby! That's so adorable!" And of course Abby was in fine form, smiling at everyone and making her happy noises (which unfortunately sound like she's choking--she does this gasping intake of air and squeaks like an asthmatic)--at least, she was making the happy noises once I started walking around with her. Before that it was just crying, which I'm sure the two beer-guzzling guys next to me were really thrilled about, and hence the reason I ended up walking around. So now we know for next time: aisle seats and good walking shoes.

Abby in the water

We took Abby swimming in my parents' spa the other night, her first time in her bathing suit and in a body of water bigger than her little bath tub. She handled it okay, although she'd had her fill after about 15 minutes. I'm thinking about getting her into some baby swim classes this summer.


Here's Abby with her Aunt Kelli, my brother's wife. isn't the bathing suit darling?


She was a bit stunned by the whole water thing until she realized she had something to chew. Then she was happy. Story of her life.

These next ones are from her first bath tub bath. we've been giving her sponge baths and cleaning her hair over the sink up until now because I was nervous about the bath seat thing, but we finally did it, and...


...at first she was happy...


...and then not so much. Oh well. She'll get used to it eventually, right?

Here they come...

Well, yesterday was interesting, if by interesting one means hellish. After starting the day out fine, albeit with an awful lot of demand for eating (7:15, 8:45, 9:30). We got home a little before 10 from our walk, and she starts fussing like she wants to eat AGAIN. Well, I'd decided to start pumping during the day since she eats so much better from a bottle, so I made a bottle for her, and the minute it it touched her mouth, she started crying. Then she started screaming. i'd never seen her cry that violently; she was choking she was crying so hard. I tried the tummy drops, even though she didn't seem gassy, then I tried the Orajel. She screamed even harder (didn't think that was possible), but then two minutes later she stopped crying and pretty much collapsed into sleep in my arms. She slept for 45 minutes, then woke up an absolute angel, smiling and talking and laughing at everything. Total Jekyll & Hyde. Then she started fussing to eat (so I thought) again, and same thing happened: made a bottle, tried to feed her, starts screaming. This time for forty minutes. It was awful; she looked like she was in so much pain. Tried the Orajel again and that didn't work; gave her a frozen washcloth and that DID work for a little while, but then, for some reason, it stopped working, and she was back to screaming again. Cried herself to sleep, and was still even crying in her sleep a little bit--just broke my heart. Only slept for about an hour, but when she woke up, she was Angel Baby again. This time I gave her two teething tablets that everyone around here swears by, and then a dose of Tylenol (which I keep forgetting about; when I remembered we had it I felt horrible for not giving it to her sooner and making her suffer), and she was wonderful for the rest of the day. Didn't eat again until 3:00, oddly--5.5 hours of no food doesn't usually fly for her. I gave her another dose of everything at 9:30 before we went to bed and we didn't have any problems, and now I'm just crossing my fingers for today.

So I guess this means we're officially teething.

I was really freaked out for a while there, since everyone always says they get "fussy" when they're teething. This was light years and nine galaxies away from "fussy." And how many teeth do they get? I can't imagine her having to go through that for all of them! Someone please tell me certain teeth hurt more than others!

In unrelated news, Dan had her in her swing last night while I tutored, and the swing has a litle fish mobile that spins above it, and he started hitting the fish with his head as they came by and saying, "Bonk!" Abby laughed harder than we've ever seen her laugh. Isn't it silly the things that they find outrageously funny?

Coming soon: photos of Abby's first bath in a bathtub (with a not-to-be-missed unhappy Abby picture) and her first Jacuzzi experiece!

Photos

Look closely at her eyes--you can see the reflection of the backyard and Dan taking the photo!

That little mind is always going, even in her sleep!

Four generations: My mom (Leslie, her mom (Helen, a.k.a Nana), Little Miss Cutie-Pie, and me, taken on Easter.

Spring Cleaning

I went through Abby's clothes this week to weed out all the stuff she doesn't fit into anymore. I'm so sad. She's got some of the most adorable outfits, but she's growing so fast and has so many 0-3 outfits she only got to wear some of them once or twice. The outfit I put her in today looked like it would still fit, but the pants (pink corduroy! So cute!) are just too tight now. She can still wear the top, which has these little pink flowers embroidered all over it (Dan and I are both suckers for embroidery). But even the shirt is a little on the short side. Anyway, now there's this pile of clothes at the bottom of her closet that are waiting to be boxed up, and depending on what we have next, we may never see them on a baby again! Deressing! I've decided that, if we don't have a girl the second time around, I'm going to take all Abby's cute outfits and sew them into a quilt. Lorelei did that on "Gilmore Girls" with all Rory's baby clothes, and I thought that was such an adorable idea. Although I may save some of them for her memory box--my mom had some of my baby dresses when I was a kid, and they fit my Cabbage Patch doll perfectly. :)

Tidbits:
Abby's next to me on the couch at the moment, and she's figured out how to shove things away from her, but then gets annoyed when she can't reach them amymore.

I was on hold with the gas company and the oldie, "I Will Follow Him" came on, so I was singing along with it and she thought it was hilarious.

Dan bought her a toy remote control that has all these buttons that make TV-related noises, and she uses her feet to grab it and hit the buttons. Well, I don't think the button-hitting is intentional; she just kicks at the thing and occasionally her heel hits something.

Dan also bought her a small stuffed classic tigger from Target, and she actually kind of plays with it. What's cute, though, is when you hold it in front of her and she dives for his nose--with her mouth.

Updates

I'm appalled at my lack of blogging lately; please forgive me. Some updates:

-Her new nickname: velocaraptor baby. She's got this new screech that is truly ear-splitting. I'm pretty sure only dogs hear her at some point.

-Roly-poly: She's got the back-to-tummy rolling thing down pretty well--in fact, she did it on command at mom and dad's place the other night. Usually gets annoyed once she's flipped; however, yesterday she actually hung out on her tummy and played for awhile. Yay!

-Teething? I think so. She nearly bruised my finger chewing on it last night, and when I gave her a frozen washcloth she really went to town on it. In fact, lat night was probably the worst night she's had so far in her short little life. Just screaming and so very unhappy. Broke our hearts. :( We keep slapping on the Baby Orajel but she doesn't seem to like it--I'm not sure if it's the numbness she hates or the feeling of us rubbing our fingers on her sore gums. We finally gave her baby Tylenol and that took care of things. What's weird, though, is that it seems to come and go--she was fine the rest of the night, slept like an angel, and is perfectly happy this morning. I thought teething made them unhappy all the time. Guess I have some research to do.

-Solids! We gave her rice cereal for the first time last week and she gobbled it up. I put some in a bottle for her before bed, hoping it'll make her sleep longer, but so far it hasn't made a difference. Not sure if I'm not giving her enough or if the whole solids = sleeping thing is a myth--I read something to that effect in one of my many parenting magazines.

-Sitting up on her own! Well, she can't get into the sitting position on her own, but if we sit her up she will stay that way for a good long time. we surround her with pillows for the occasional fall, but really she does quite well.

So that's Abby in a nutshell. Nearly 5 months old; I just can't believe it. One more month and we can put sunscreen on her, and then it's off to the pool we'll go! Oh, te photos we'll take...

YUM.

So today we tried rice cereal. Wow. SOMEONE was ready for real food! She was lapping at the spoon like a dog; it was hilarious. Honestly, though, she was wolfing it down. Afterwards we gave her a bath, and by 15 minutes later she was completely konked out. Great photos to come.

My First Mother's Day

I was so proud to be able to stand up in church today when they honored all the moms. I'm a MOM--that's still so weird to me!

Abby did her first real rolling one night this past week--three times in a row! We kept missing it; she was on the floor, and Dan and I were both in the middle of things, and we'd look down and she was on her tummy. We flipped her over, watched for a while, became convinced she was content on her back, and then, when we weren't looking, there she'd go again. The third time we persevered and were rewarded with yet another flip which we saw from beginning to end. We tried for a fourth for the camera, but by that time she was over it for the night.

Tonight we became convinced of two things: she's teething, and she's ready for solids. All day she was fussy and out of sorts--I thought it was from the nap she missed (and then waking up after half an hour--right at the beginning of our dinner at Ruth's Chris, of course), but after the way she gnawed our fingers later on, and the way she sucked down 5 ounces of formula less than two hours after eating this evening, I think it's safe to say we're on the cusp of teeth and rice cereal. Tomorrow we're starting the cereal--guess there's not much we can do about the teething other than break out the teething rings and frozen washcloths.

We did some Mother's Day photos in the backyard. My mom bought Abby this great dress that was on major clearance at Nordstrom's; it came with a hat that was way too big and a coat that was adorable and totally Jackie O, but it was too warm today to wear it. :(

Happy Four Month Birthday, Abby!

Four months ago today. Unbelievable! Sure doesn't feel that way, although I honestly can't tell you if it feels like it's been longer or shorter. :) She had her four month appointment today--15 pounds (80th percentile) and 25.5 inches long (90th percentile). She also got her first shot today, and she did pretty well. Screamed like she's never screamed before when she got poked, but she calmed down fairly quickly after I started nursing her.

We got her a bouncer--one of those stand-up things that lets her jump. Boy, does she love that! Goes absolutely nuts. She's also getting better on her stomach, which is a relief--and a surprise, given we hardly ever put her on her stomach. And it's so cool to see her moving her feet now like she's trying to walk; we stand her up on the counter in the bathroom so she can look at herself in the mirror, and she marches in place. So cute!

The one bummer about all this growing up is that she's nearly grown out of her infant carseat (according to the manufacturer's size restrictions, anyway). That thing is sooo handy! It snaps in and out of the base, so that you don't have to keep screwing around with seat belts and such. But the next size up doesn't do that--it's not meant to come out of the car, which means you have to take the baby out of the seat to get them out of the car. Really sucks when they're asleep--right now we just bring the whole seat up to her room and put it in the crib. Not anymore. :( I think we'll keep the infant carrier in the trunk, though, until she really just doesn't fit at ALL, because it fits so nicely in the stroller and gives her a place to sit in restaurants and stuff. (She's still not quite big enough for a high chair.)

And speaking of growing, she completely fits her six month pajamas; no more room to grow in them. How is this possible?!

Hoppy Easter!

Ah, the fun that can be had with fuzzy bunny ears.

Updates!

Yikes, it's been awhile since I posted. Sorry about that. Here are the current stats on Bugsy, a.k.a Abigail Joy:

~ While she still does the bobble-head thing occasionally, her neck is really strong, and she will hold her head up steadily for quite a while.

~ She has spotted her feet, but seems a bit wary of them still--hasn't tried chewing on them yet, although that would require her removing her fist from her mouth first, and heaven knows that doesn't happen often.

~ Standing is her new favorite thing to do. No, not on her own--although she's so strong and steady we've actually let go once or twice for a second and she's held herself up--but she'll really get mad if you try to make her sit and she's not done standing yet. None of that stand-collapse-stand-collapse stuff, either; she'll only fold once every couple minutes.

~ Baby crunches! She's trying so hard to sit up, and she's almost halfway there. She'll get her head and shoulders up off the floor and hold them up for 15 seconds or so before laying back down.

~ Tummy time has been basically nonexistent since she screamed bloody murder whenever we tried it, but on Friday Aunt Kelli tried a new technique to help keep her chest elevated and she seemed to enjoy it. She even did a couple baby push-ups in that position, too, so I suspect a couple more weeks of this and we'll see some rolling action.

~ Talking, talking, talking! And wow, is she loud. While (finally!) assembling her crib the other night, she was making so much noise I couldn't concentrate on the (incredibly convoluted) instructions. Her new bouncy seat has a mirror over her head, and she'll stare up at herself and carry on conversations for ages. Dan and I just sit and laugh; it's so cute!

~ Tiny bald spot on the back of her head, but other than that she's maintained it all, and the back is getting so long! You can make a very tiny ponytail with the hair that falls over her neck.

Pictures to come soon--this afternoon, I hope!

-Alison

So cute.

"Baby, baby, open your mouf!" Tha's our nephew Simon being our little helper and doing binky patrol. He'd sit next to Abby and just wait for her to spit it out so he could put it back in. Too cute!

Handsy Morrow

Well, she's found her hands! Her left specifically, which has become her new fvorite chew toy and eye rubber. She crams that fist in her mouth and gnaws like mad, and the few times she's managed to get just her thumb in there (usually it's clamped tightly in her fist) she hasn't been too impressed. Given the fact that her pacifiers all have nipples much bigger than her thumb, I guess that's not surprising. And she rubs her eye with such vehemence I'm afraid she's going to shove her cornea right off. I wonder if she'll be left-handed like me, since that seems to be the one she favors right now. My mom is left-handed, too, maybe Abby will keep up the trend.

Yawn

In the immortal words of The Barenaked Ladies:

"Who needs sleep?
Well, you're never gonna get it.
Who needs sleep?
Tell me, who's that for?!"

Remember how Abby had that great eight hour stretch of sleep last week? Well, apparently she used up all her sleepiness then, because she's been back to eating every 2.5 hours (sometimes just 2) in the middle of the night for the last 4 nights. I know I really have nothing to complain about, because this is just what babies do and in everything else she's so incredibly easy, but still, this isn't what I'm used to--she was so good with those 5 and 6 hour stretches! Where did they go?! And if she was totally chowing down every time, that would be fine, but she goes for five minutes if I'm lucky and then falls back asleep. I think she's using me more as a pacifier than a food source. I've read about something called the Miracle Blanket on babycenter.com, and I think I'm goig to look into getting one--everyone who posts about it on my birth club board there absolutely loves it and says their baby started sleeping through the night the first time they used it. It's a special swaddling blanket that holds them really securely, and since she wiggles out of regular blanket swaddles now, I think we need something like that. Because, when you wake up not knowing why you're lying down because you were so sure you were still nursing, you know you need more sleep. :)

Go Abby go!

Today was Abby's two month check-up. Now I know why it's so hard to hold her to feed her without using the Boppy or My Brest Friend: she's 12 and 3/4 pounds and 24 inches!! Sheesh! Growing that long that fast, you'd think you'd actually be able to see her stretching.

Eight hours!

She did it! Abby slept for eight straight hours yesterday. I even tried to wake her up after about 5 hours to get her to eat, and she sucked for about 45 seconds before falling so deep asleep I couldn't rouse her again. 'Course, the only thing that sucks about it is that she fell asleep at 5:15 in the evening and thus woke up at 1:15. But hey, it's a big accomplishment--we can work on the timing later. :)

This morning she woke up at 6:45 to eat, and while she was able to fall back asleep in my arms, I was hopelessly awake, which is a bummer since I went to bed late last night. (I wonder when 11:00 PM will stop being 'late'?) Now she's wide awake and in her bouncy seat, giving the animals that hang off the canopy an earful of baby babble, which she's getting quite proficient at. I'm starting sign language with her, not that I expect her to be able to produce it this early, but the way she stares at you when you talk at her I figure she must be taking things in pretty well, so why not start now and make it a habit for both of us? We're just working with the signs for Mommy, Daddy, Abby (which we just do by shaking the "a" sign) and I love you. I can tell she's watching my hand, so it'll be interesting to see how old she is by the time she starts actually mimicking them. When do kids get ahold of their fine motor control, anyone know?

The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

I FINALLY downloaded all the photos (161 of them!) from our camera. Here are some gems...

Doesn't it look like she's about to make a wisecrack?

Victory is mine!

Animals! Woohoo!

Should get stock in Gerber

Abby has a pacifier preference: she'll only take the ones with the shield that cups away from her face or is flat. The ones from the hospital--big green rubber ones--are flat, and Gerber makes some that curve away. 'Course I have about five packs of regular ones that she refuses, and the five packs of the ones she likes have completely disappeared. How is it we can own ten pacifiers and I can only find one?? Are they hanging out with lost socks and pens? Or do they have their own black hole somewhere in the house? We tried to assign one or two to each room of the house where she hangs out, and left one in her diaper bag and one in her carseat, thinking that this would help us to hang onto them. But no. I'm not sure where the system broke down, but it most certainly did. Anyone have any suggestions for hanging onto them?

Giving new meaning to "sleepyhead"...

In the last 36 hours, Abby has been awake for a total of 9 hours and 45 minutes. Yes, that was AWAKE time. I didn't know that a human being who lays around all day doing nothing could sleep that much! She must be going through a MAJOR growth spurt or something--or just finishing one. Unbelievable. We kept checking to make sure she was still breathing because she'd be so deep asleep her breaths were really shallow; half the time you could barely even see her chest move. The longest stretch she had was 7 hours, which, of course, did NOT happen to fall over the bulk of nighttime; she was up at 3:30 AM to eat. But I still managed to sleep for most of that stretch so I can't complain too much. She slept right through 6 car rides, a visit to Hallmark, a 40 minute walk around the lake, a church service, and two restaurant dinners. Well done, my girl!

Six weeks!

Well, the magical six weeks is here! 42 days ago Abby was yanked into the world, and now I finally feel safe showing her off to it. Sunday's Super Bowl party was sort of a trial run, and she did quite well. I think we'll head back to church and small group this week.

Yesterday I bought a blank journal at Borders, because I want to start writing little letters to her about...well, that's the thing, I'm not entirely sure what I want to write, I just know that I want to keep some kind of record of something for her to read when she's older. Just observations on her development, parenthood, my hopes for her--that sort of thing, I guess. Anyway, the journal kicks butt--it's got a wooden cover! Beautiful and polished, a deep mahogany color, with gilt-edged pages and some leather on the binder. Very classy. And if the wood gets all scratched it'll look all worn and weathered. And since today marks such a monumental occasion (okay, I know I'm really hyping this six weeks thing a little more than necessary), I'm going to start writing in it today. It always takes a little time for me to put pen to blank journal paper--all that empty space makes me a little nervous about messing it up, and with that fancy wooden cover and all--whoa! Gotta be extra careful not to ruin the whole thing with the first entry. Ahh, see, this is the kind of ridiculous behavior I'm hoping NOT to pass on to my daughter. Maybe that'll be my first entry: Personality Idiosyncracies And Behavioral Quirks I Pray I You Have Not Inherited From Me....

Higher and higher...

Yesterday was Abby's one month check up. She is definitely one healthy girl! She weighed in at 11 pounds and 4 ounces (lighter than we suspected, actually) and 22 inches long. She's in the 95th percentile for her weight and the 80th for her length. The doctor was very impressed with how well she focused her eyes and thinks she'll have her sight intact well before the usual 3 months. She also said she's very strong for her age and will probably be an "early mover." Dan and I both walked at 8 months, so that doesn't surprise me. The doctor said she may start rolling over a lot sooner, too, and to make sure that, even now, we don't leave her on the couch or bed unattended, but I've seen her roll herself to her side plenty of times (she loves sleeping that way), so I don't leave her alone anyway!

Have I mentioned recently how incredibly adorable she is?? and smiling so much these days, too!

My Justification

I've always said I'm lacking that domestic gene, but lately I've felt the pressure to be more...I don't know..."motherly," I guess, for obvious reasons. And by "be motherly" I mean "be more of what I've always thought a mother should be," which is a) neat and tidy, b) a good cook (or at least someone who cooks at all), c) organized. Otherwise saying, I've been feeling like I should be MY mother. :) And that's not a knock in any way on her--I've been blessed with the most absolutely incredible mother on the planet, and she was a tremendous role model for me, but bottom line is I just don't have it in me. And that makes me sad sometimes, because I'm afraid Abby will grow up and have no clue how to take care of a house and it'll be my fault.

But then I found this poem today and it made me not care so much. :)


"Mother oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread
Sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo)
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo)

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the hard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow
For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow
So quiet down, cobwebs; dust, go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

Now granted I was like this before I became a mother, but still, at least now I can stop stressing about it so much. :)

A Poem to Abby on My 30th Birthday

If you were not here
today would be a Party Day.
I would
sleep in late
take a long hot shower
put on something sparkly and sexy
and not worry that it might get
peed and pooped and spit up on,
because you would not be here.

I would have a Big Birthday Blowout,
at a restaurant
or club,
where I would
dance
do some karaoke
eat and drink
and not worry that what I eat and drink
might upset your little tummy,
because you would not be here.

But,
you are here.
So I
get up at seven
squeeze a shower in while you nap
put on sweats like I have almost every day
for the last month.
I will not
go out with my friends
eat and drink to my heart's content
dance and sing and stay out till all hours
without worry about someone else.
Instead, I will
sit with you on the couch
like I do every day
and watch reruns of
Cosby
Gilmore Girls
What Not to Wear.
I will
try to remember to eat something
and drink my water
and change your diaper almost every half hour.
I will
let you curl up on my chest
sing you songs you can't yet understand
melt when you stare at me with those big blue eyes
and give me a smile.
And I will cry,
not because of what I'm not doing today
or because of the things I'm missing out on
but because that Party Day would be so empty
that life would be so empty--
because
you
would not be here.

So much STUFF!

Abby took her first roadtrip this weekend--we went to Ventura to visit Dan's parents and his brother's family. We go up there once a month, usually, and we have the packing routine down pretty well; we can decide out of the blue to go there and be out the door in fifteen minutes, tops. At least, that's how it USED to be.

The trunk was PACKED, and that's not an exaggeration. Why is it such small people need so much stuff? Stroller, bouncy seat, Boppy pillow, diaper bag, bag of diapers, box of wipes, co-sleeper...and her clothes took up more space in my suitcase than my own did! And it's not like we did the new parent "take everything just in case" thing--we actually used it all. It took three trips to get it all into the house once we got there, and we were only staying for 48 hours. And looking ahead, I know it's going to get worse before it gets better: Dan's brother has a three year old, and they packed out their van for their 72 hour trip out here from Vegas. When do they stop needing so much stuff???

Beautiful dreamer...

I can't imagine what she could be dreaming about, but Abby apparently is--and unfortunately they seem to be nightmares! How can a baby have nightmares?! What on earth are they about--being poked in utero? That sudden burst of blinding light when she was born? These giant adult faces that rudely thrust themselves mere inches from her eyes and make ridiculous faces and babble in high voices? But I'm pretty sure that's what's going on. Every once in a while, in the middle of one of her many naps, she'll suddenly whimper and then cry--and these aren't little cries, these are WAILS, which she never does otherwise--and then she'll stop and get a worried little look on her face that slowly fades as she heads back, I assume, into a happier mental place. It just breaks my heart! Any of you moms out there experience this with your babies?

And suddenly...she's real.

In the middle of the night, somewhere between hauling Abby out of the co-sleeper to nurse and easing her back in with a prayer that she'd stay asleep, she and the whole concept of motherhood became real. Suddenly the dream-like quality that the last 2.5 weeks have held dissipated, and it became clear to me that this was now my life. That I am a mom. That Abby, that squirming little being who melts my heart when she falls asleep on my chest, is my daughter, and always will be. That I'll be braiding her hair and giving in to her plea for sparkly shoes at Pay-Less and kissing bruises and scrapes in the years to come, and that, somewhere down the line, I'll be meeting The Boy and defending my choice of curfew and offering my sympathy when her firt relationship goes bust. And while I've thought of all this before, this was the first time when it all felt, well, real. I can't think of any other word that suits. It was like waking up, like snapping back to reality after getting lost in a daydream. And I'm glad it finally happened, because now I feel like I can get on with my life instead of just sitting around in a daze.

Now if only my body would find the energy to LET me get on with my life....

Cutie pie!

Thanks to Maaike and Jurgen for the precious outfit! It's one of my favorites--and one of, like, 3 outfits she has that ISN'T pink. :) This is the photo we sent out with our Christmas cards/birth announcements. I really need to get the camera memory cards downloaded to my computer--so many more sweet pictures to share. (I'm on my way to being one of those really annoying bragging moms, aren't I?)

Chunkin' up

Abby had her one week check-up on Thursday. Our doctor is fantastic--she's got a great sense of humor, is really laid-back, and gives you all the time in the world to ask every ridiculous first-time-parents questions you can think of. The highlight of the appointment: having the doctor see Abby's weight and gasp, "You've got some high octane milk there!" Between January 1 and January 5 she'd gained eleven ounces--from 8 lbs 13 oz to 9 lbs 8 oz! Sheesh! The doctor said they want them to gain at least HALF an ounce a day--talk about an overachiever!!

Warning: depressing post

(Before I get into any of this, let me preface it all by saying that none of what I'm about to write is eclipsing my love for Abby or my overall happiness. I'm not depressed or experiencing PPD or anything like that, so no one has to worry. :)

I was on BabyCenter.com and found a message board called "C-section support." It took me a minute to allow myself to check it out because I hadn't't yet let myself really analyze and process the turn of events that we experienced a week ago today. But I read some of the posts, and in doing so, I began to look more closely at Abby's birth and my c-section, and I finally figured out why it is I get all weepy (and not in a good way) whenever I think about that day.

I feel robbed.

I wanted so badly to have a natural birth. I wanted to be able to say that I'd had my baby naturally and loved every minute of it (which I had, up until the Pitocin kicked in). I wanted to videotape her little head coming out and Dan announcing the sex to everyone, and be able to go home and watch it all over and over again and relive that incredible miracle. But instead I had to lay there on a surgery table and do absolutely nothing while my baby was extracted rather than birthed into the world.

I don't blame myself for any of it; I did everything right that I was able to do. I don't feel guilty; a c/s was the only solution in the end. I just feel cheated out of one of those experiences that you only get one chance to have: the birth of my first child. I wasn't prepared for things to go that way--my pregnancy was so mellow and easy-going, comparatively speaking, I never imagined I wouldn't be able to have a natural birth. I wasn't prepared to experience two major events at the same time: birth and surgery. I wasn't expecting to have to deal with stitches and staples and eventually a major scar on my already stretch-mark-ravaged body. And having to deal with all those emotional things on top of the emotions that come with sleep-deprivation and the weighty responsibility of parenthood has really blindsided me.

So that's where I am right now. I'm sure these feelings will fade, especially the more time I spend contemplating just how amazing and beautiful Abby is. In the end, it doesn't matter how she came out; the important part is that she came out at all and is healthy.

And, speak of the devil, Her Highness has awakened (thank heavens--she was about to start her fifth hour of sleeping!) and looking for lunch. Guess that's my cue to exit...

And the winner is...

Thanks to everyone who entered the baby prediction contest! I devised a complex scoring system to determine the winner, and the high score went to Maaike van den Haak of Amsterdam! Maaike is also a new mom--her son, Matthijs, was born on Christmas Eve. Congratulations, Maaike!

Pictures!

Finally!!!


Yes, that says 9 and 1.3 pounds. Still can't get over that. I must have ingested some Miracle-Gro somewhere along the line.


Our little Weeble Wobble!


LOVE that face!

I could post about a hundred more, but I figure y'all would get bored. :) What can I say, I think she's perfect!

Oh yeah...

Yes, there are photos a-plenty coming soon to the blog, but I don't have the energy to go through the 200+ we've taken so far. :) I'll get a few up in the next 48 hours, I promise!!!!!

Welcome to the world!

Happy New Year! How appropriate that we would be bringing our baby home on the first day of 2006. We can’t wait to see what this year holds for us as parents!

The last 5 days have been a whirlwind. Everything started December 27th, the day after my official due date. I starting having contractions that morning, and they felt different from the contractions I’d been getting for the last couple weeks. Even so, they were sporadic, and I expected them to simply peter out like the others had. But by 10 PM I realized that they were getting much more regular and intense, and Dan wisely suggested I take a shower to help myself both relax and prepare for a trip to the hospital, just in case. After my shower, I sat in Dan’s office, timing the surges and fighting the urge to get very excited at the thought that this might actually be it. Over the next two and a half hours, the surges worked their way down to between 5 and 2 minutes apart, and I was fully engaged in my hypnobirthing visualization and breathing. At 12:30 we called Dr. Robinson, and she gave us the thumbs-up for going to the hospital, so we took one last belly photo and took off for Saddleback Women’s Hospital.

We called Tina, our birth coach, and she met us at the hospital. Flora, our first nurse, checked me out and gave us the good news: I was 3 cm and 90% effaced! Per Dr. Robinson’s orders, they had me walk the halls for 45 minutes to see if I would continue to dilate—which I did, to 4 cm, and at that point I was officially admitted to room 290.

The next few hours consisted of wearing a rut in the labor and delivery hallway and retreating to my hypnobirthing zone in various positions in our labor suite. I’d walk for half an hour or so, then relax and do my breathing exercises for another half hour. While Dan and I paced the floors together, we tried to decide what to do for a name if it was a girl—we’d settled on Holly because of my due date’s proximity to Christmas, but our first choice before we even got pregnant had been Abby. The name discussion (and the “Can you believe we’re actually having the baby now?!” discussion) kept my mind off the surges and helped me to actually enjoy the process I was going through. Finally, after all that work, I was up to 5 and a half—and by 10:30 I was at a nine! “A baby by lunch!” was the new cheer, and Tina announced she’d treat us to a take-out lunch from Ruby’s so I could have the chocolate milkshake I was suddenly craving.

Eleven-thirty, 12:30, 1:30….time passed and my body decided that 9 cm was a nice place to hang out. I was tired, but the hypnobirthing was still doing its thing, and I wasn’t really aware of how much time was passing. Every once in a while I’d doze off for a bit, and Pam, our nurse, was astounded at how easily I managed the pain and could actually sleep. (Pam would later decide to attend Tina’s next hypnobirthing class because she was so inspired by my performance. Apparently she was also bragging to the other nurses on duty about me!) However, my doctor wasn’t comfortable with the way things were going (or not going, as the case may be), and wanted to do a little investigating and experimenting to figure out what was going on and try to fix it. They measured the strength of my contractions, and decided they weren’t strong enough—possibly the reason I couldn’t get to that last centimeter. Their first solution was to break my water (everyone was shocked it still hadn’t broken, given all the strain it had been under and all the poking around they’d been doing)—but that didn’t change anything. Their second solution was one I’d been hoping wouldn’t come up—Pitocin. They hooked me up to that around 6:15, and that’s when things started to go downhill. The Pictocin not only made the contractions stronger, it basically strung all the contractions into one giant surge that never ended. At this point I’d been in labor for over 22 hours and awake for 34, and I could have handled it had I been less exhausted and frustrated with how things were going, but given the circumstances, it was just too much. I bore it for an hour and a half before mentally breaking down. In came the epidural, and I’ve never known such relief—I believe I actually uttered the clichéd, “I love you!” to my anesthesiologist.

My doctor encouraged me with the fact that many women progress after getting the epidural because their body is able to relax a bit and not be so stressed. However, after half an hour it was clear this wouldn’t be the case for me. My doctor, the wonderful, gentle woman she is, broke the news that a c-section would be the wisest course of action. Had she brought this up an hour previously, I would have burst into tears, but by this point, I didn’t care. I was tired, and all I wanted to do was meet my baby!

Into the OR we went, and at 8:56 PM, December 28th, Abigail Joy Morrow was pulled into the world, It turns out we had three strikes against us having a vaginal delivery: she was “sunny-side up,” misaligned with the birth canal, and over nine pounds! (Well, one ounce over, anyway!) They measured her as being 21 inches, but everyone agrees they didn’t stretch her enough. She instantly stopped crying when Dan began to talk to her and stared into his eyes like she actually understood him. Everyone marveled at her hair, which was so perfect it look combed, and at the fact that she looked nothing like a newborn. She looks at least a month old already!

It started out exactly like I’d hoped, and while the ending was the exact opposite of what I had dreamed of, the result was beyond anything I could have prayed for. Abby is absolutely perfect. She’s totally mellow, hardly ever cries, and has the most beautiful face! And Dan was amazing throughout the whole thing—he was so calm, despite the frustration I know he felt and how worried he was for me, and he never let me see his tension or concern. Kelli , my sister-in-law, drove with my brother from Bakersfield, CA in the middle of the night to be there as our photographer, and even jumped in to help now and then and keep track of the day’s timeline for us so we’d know later what happened when. Tina was the perfect birth coach—without her I don’t know if I would have stayed focused, especially when things started to get gnarly.

We’re home now, and the family room looks like an explosion in Babies R Us. As I type, Abby is sound asleep on her daddy’s chest, looking like the angel she is, and Dan and I are beside ourselves with all the blessings we’ve received with her arrival. It still hasn’t sunk in that she is our daughter—that she’ll be here for the rest of our lives, that we’re responsible for this little life—but I suppose the realization will come eventually. Until then we’re content to cater to her ever whim and stare at her while she does absolutely nothing of exception. Sounds like a decent way to spend my every waking moment!

The Day We've Been Waiting For...But Not

Well, today is the day we've been counting down to, and of course that doesn't really mean anything, but nevertheless, here it is. Last night was the most "productive" night of contractions that I've had so far--I timed them for three hours and the last hour they were between 6 and 9 minutes apart. Of course, after an hour they up and stopped, as they always do, but still, that has to be a good indictation of...something.

Good news for my friend Maaike, though! Maaike was one of the girls I met the year I lived in Scotland, and we've kept in touch over the years and visited each other, and it turns out we got preggo at the same time! She had her baby a few days ago, and the photos are adorable, so if you're up for some oohing and awwing, go to www.vanalphen.net/pictures/default.html.

So today is Chore Day. Laundry, cleaning, organizing, yadda yadda yadda. Such fun. Can't wait till I have the baby here and have a good reason to blow it all off! :)

Looking Up

Well, the drama and emotion of the last couple days has worn off and I'm doing better with the fact that the baby isn't going to be here for Christmas. I have a killer prayer team who really pulled through for me yesterday--I attribute my miraculous decrease in leg pain and boost in spirits to them. (Thank you, small group!!!) My doctor's office called yesterday to give me the lowdown on induction, and it turns out they've already set the date. So, if nothing else, I can say with certainty that we will have a baby by January 6. The induction itself starts on the 4th with a balloon which they insert into the cervix and then inflate to pressure the cervix to dilate. Then on the 5th we go into the hospital around 7 AM (if I don't go into labor before then, that is) and they'll start me on Pitocin if I'm not contracting. Hopefully things will move quickly and it won't stretch to the 6th, but I can't imagine them letting it go past that. Frankly, I can't imagine lasting till the 4th--but then again, I couldn't imagine lasting till now, and here I am.

So tonight we'll go to one of the Christmas Eve services at church, then tomorrow we'll go to Mom and Dad's for family Christmas. Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, roast beef and Yorkshire pudding for lunch....mmmm, a good eats day. :)

Probably won't post till Monday or later, so hey everyone--have a blessed Christmas!

:(

Had my latest OB appointment today and, despite the fact that I've had some whopper contractions lately, I'm still only 1 cm and 30% effaced. In other words, ain't nothin' happenin'. It was not a happy appointment. I cried. A lot. A little embarrassing, but luckily I have a very cool doctor and she's very encouraging. Part of it was frustration, part of it was exhaustion from getting no sleep last night thanks to a horrendous back spasm that had me basically immobile for half an hour and made it nearly impossible to walk this morning, and part of it was the tremendous let down of knowing that the chances are better I'll be having a January baby than a December one. My next appointment is next Thursday, and she said we'll discuss possible induction dates then. That means I won't even be induced until January. Just what this family needs, a fourth January birthday.

So yeah, sucky day in Alisonland. I'm feeling very disconnected from things at the moment--disconnected from the baby because it all just feels like fiction, disconnected from Christmas because I've been focusing so much on the baby. I'm sure a good night's sleep will help me out some, and thankfully my doctor gave me an rx for Ambien, so I may actually get some good sleep for once. And then tomorrow I'll probably go in for another chiropractic appointment--she spent 45 minutes on me this morning trying to work out the kinks that had built up--and that will hopefully help me relax, if nothing else. I can't wait until I can get a decent massage; I feel like I'm going to need a vacation by the time this baby gets here.

The Numbers Game

9, 6, 9, 11, 16

30, 15, 25, 15, 15

DOn't bother looking for a pattern; there isn't one. And that's what's so freaking annoying, because those numbers represent the minutes between contractions that I've timed so far. The first set actually started right after I posted the last time, and the second were during "Chronicles of Narnia," which Dan and I went to see last night. Oddly, I'm only ever able to get 5 intervals, because then they stop.

WHY DO THEY STOP!??!?!?!?!

So tomorrow is my next appointment. Pray, please, that the doctor looks at me in astonishment and says, "Get thee to labor and delivery! You're 8 centimeters dilated!" Wishful thinking, I know, but hey, 'tis the season that is based on birth-related miracles, is it not?

-Alison

"Pregnant Forever," film at 11

Rancho Santa Margarita, CA--A local woman declared today that she believes she will be the first woman in history to be pregnant forever. "It's not the kind of record I'd hoped to set in my lifetime," said Alison Morrow, 29, "but for some reason it's my burden to bear." While her due date is technically still 6 days away, Morrow claims there has been nothing happening to give any indication that the birth is near, and that the baby seems quite content to just stay where it is indefinitely. "There's a first time for everything," she said as she gazed into the nursery that she fears will never be used, "and while some might say, 'Why me?' I say, 'Why not me?' It was bound to happen to someone eventually. I just hope that my doctors are able to come to an understanding of why this is happening so that others may be helped--if there are others who find themselves in the same situation."

Morrow said she'd been wondering lately if perhaps the being inside her was truly human, or if she was somehow carrying some kind of alien life form. "It would certainly explain the mind-boggling movement I've been experiencing. Who's to say there's not some alien race out there using my body as an experiment?" She could not pinpoint a time when she may have been abducted, but points out that a race capable of creating a lifeform that never births could easily come up with ways to conceive that lifeform in a human without her knowing it.

What will she do while she remains pregnant for the rest of her life? "Milk it for all it's worth," she exclaimed. "Forgetfulness, laziness, chocolate cravings--I can deny responsibility for these traits forever. People will forgive you practically anything once they glimpse your burgeoning belly." We had more questions for Morrow, but our interview with her was cut short when she was overcome by the need for Christmas cookies.

Off target

Well, today was our target date for the birth, and it has come and gone. I'm still not actually due for another week, though, so it's not that surprising.

I can't believe Christmas is a week from today. When we found out we were pregnant all those months ago, it just seemed so far away, and here we are, down to the wire with only a few days left to get this kid out by the holiday. Truth be told, I'm starting to think I'll be late, and I feel like I'm in mourning for the ideal I'd been praying for for so long. It would have meant so much to me to have my baby with me on Christmas, and yeah, I know it's still possible, but chances are slim and I have to deal with that.

Blah.

We have progress!

Not much, but any progress is better than none: 1 cm dilated and 20% effaced, hallelujah! I was up for over an hour last night with practice labor and back spasms, so I'm glad I have something to show for it, however small it might be. I know that some women go for weeks at 1 or 2 cm, so it's not like this means labor is imminent--and wouldn't you know it, the doctor isn't even on call this weekend, which was our target weekend that we've been intentioning with hypnobirth since, like, September, so it would actually sorta suck if the baby came the 18th like we've been hoping and praying. But hey, any time this week would be good, and Christmas isn't until a week from Sunday, so we still have plenty of time to work with here. Funny, the nurse was telling me about a woman who is desperate to have her baby ON Christmas, which is what we've been trying to avoid all along. 'Course, that would mean this woman would be having her baby at 43 and half weeks! Can you imagine WANTING to be pregnant that long!?

Shocking.

I actually slept last night. Not the entire night--oh, heavens no, that would be unheard of--but in much longer stretches than usual. And without any leg cramps, hallelujah. My secret? The recliner! Yes, I have ditched the bed for the recliner in the living room, which allows me to give my body a break from being on its side and lets me sleep on my back, surrounded, of course, by pillows galore. But hey, it worked, so I'm happy. I didn't wake up for good until almost 8:30, which is the latest I've slept in a really long time, and I think the longest I was up for in the middle of the night was maybe 45 minutes. And I'm pretty sure I only woke up twice. Not bad at all! Now, one might think that getting all that sleep and waking up relatively refreshed (and, for once, NOT feeling like a 90-year-old arthritic) would mean I'd be buzzing around getting things done today. Not so much. Had breakfast, had a shower, got the mail, made a milkshake, and really that's about all I've had the energy to do. The list of things I need to do is growing by the minute, and really I don't care. Heck, it took me twenty minutes to gather the strength to get upstairs and check my email, and that's something I actually wantwant to do--what will it take to get the strength to, say, clean the bathroom or closet or look for my hot glue gun so I can finish our Christmas wreath? No thanks. I'm just going to sit here and think of more reasons to stare at my computer so I don't have to tackle all those other pesky chores, and dream of going back to sleep tonight.

Full term!

As of yesterday, I am officially considered full term, and this baby can safely make its appearance any time now. THANK HEAVENS. I am SO ready to be done. Just got back from the OB and she said "Things look good." (She's a woman of few words.) No dilating yet, but the baby is definitely head-down, so hallelujah for that. I did the baby's laundry last night--what is it about socks that are only two inches long that is just SO DANG CUTE?!--and everything is organized in the closet and armoire. I shuffled some of the kitchen drawer contents to make room for bibs and bottle stuff last night, too.

And now we wait. Hopefully not too long, though...

Baby Shower!

Yesterday was my big baby shower. It rocked! About 22 women there, tons of awesome gifts, and great food. My friends that put it together really outdid themselves. Dan and I spent today at Babies R Us and Target picking up the last necessities that we'll REALLY need when the baby comes--still lots of stuff to be purchased, but none of it immediately important. For wee little things, babies sure do need a lot of stuff, you know? Well, I suppose that's not entirely true--we as 21st century parents simply expect that certain conveniences, like Pack N' Plays and Boppy pillows and bouncy seats, should be used because they exist and are such great ideas. And what can I say--I've bought that idea hook, line, and sinker.

There were lots of babies there yesterday, and all of them were very well-behaved and cute. (Like that last part is hard.) We lined them up for this great photo--do they or do they not look like a bunch of Cabbage Patch Kids?!

All's well

Just thought I'd post real quick to let y'all know that nothing has been going on with those contractions for the last day and a half. They stopped yesterday morning. Good thing, seeing as we have absolutely nothing for the baby--the shower is on Saturday. (Actually, that's not entirely true; our small group hosted a shower for us on Monday, so we have some adorable clothes, crib sheets, blankets, etc. But still not all that I think we probably need.)

Tina, our hypnobirth instructor, thinks that it may have been the baby going head down that triggered them in the first place, which would be wonderful. It's been moving a lot, but I haven't felt any "turning" sensations, so hopefully it turned before our Tuesday class and I just didn't know it. Our next doctor appointment is on Tuesday, so I guess we'll see then...

The Party's Started...

So I started having this weird pressure way down low in my abdomen this afternoon, right before we left for our last hypnobirthing class. It would come and go, and when I tried to get off the couch, it was so strong it was hard to stand up straight. "Maybe this is the baby finally turning!" I thought. When we got to our class, I told our practitioner that the baby hadn't yet gone head down, at least to my knowledge. "Although I've had this pressure--oops, it's happening again!" She came over and poked and prodded and said, "Honey, that's a contraction." Then she got all excited. "But do you see what you did?" she asked. "You've trained yourself to feel pressure and not pain!" That's one of the major points of hypnobirthing, and the one thing I was worried I wouldn't be able to do, and she was right--it never really hurt, it was just...pressure. Pushing. Somewhat stronger pushing now and then, but pressurey-pushing nonetheless. Now, I know that it's going to get a LOT more intense than that, but I'm on the right path anyway, and that's encouraging.

It's been 5 and a half hours since my first one, and I've been getting them on and off ever since. For a while they were coming very quickly, every two or three minutes, but would only last for 15-30 seconds, and the intensity never got any stronger. At one point I had one last for about 4 minutes with varying strength, but it went away, and after a leisurely stroll through Target looking for a stopwatch (which, go figure, they don't sell) they went away. But since we've been home (and I've been packing my labor bag) they've started to come back a little.

The bummer, though, is that the baby still hasn't flipped! Our practitioner did a hypno-script with me at class that is meant to help the baby turn, and she said it should work within 12 hours, and to spend a good half hour or so in the "polar bear" position (a sort of hunkered-down squat that helps disengage the baby from whatever position it's in so it can turn) to help it along. So now that the labor bag is packed (all I need to get is the stopwatch and the scrapbooking paper that I want to get the baby's foot/hand prints on) I'm off to get ready for bed and "hunker down." Turn baby, turn!!

Almost done!

Well, we finally got the furniture for the nursery, and this weekend we painted the rom--it's beautiful! All that's left is to assemble the crib and put up the border. It already looks so precious; I'm so happy with the furniture we chose, and the new bedding is fantastic, too. The walls are a light green and light blue, and it looks so happy and inviting!

Next week I have two baby showers--our small group is hosting one for us, and then my "big" one with everyone else is that Saturday. I can't wait. I love parties, and I'll admit it, I love gifts. Especially when they're for a specific thing, like for my baby! And the guest list is HUGE--I think a total of around 40 people! Egads! I'm just glad the baby's room will be done by then so we have a place to put everything. We're having the big shower here, so it'll be a lot easier to get everything put away; were it somewhere else I just know we'd end up bringing everything in from the car and sticking it in the living room, where it would stay until the baby came. :) Maybe this means I'll actually have everything organized and ready to go by the time s/he makes an appearance!

Out Of It

So I suddenly realized that it's been forever since I blogged on either of my sites. I've been so out of it lately; please forgive me, all 5 or so of you that regularly read it. :) Quick update: as of Tuesday I will be 35 weeks, and as of today I have hit the big 2-0-0. Yes, that's 200 pounds--nearly 70 gained since April. Egads. Today Dan picks up the nursery furniture, and yesterday we finally cleaned out the room completely so that painting can commence. I've been trying to walk at least two laps around the lake every morning, although I didn't go yesterday because my feet were just too dang sore--it's really sad when you wake up and they still hurt from the day before. Twice last week I fell asleep while practicing my hypnobirth, and both times I was only about 4 hours into my day--and I never take naps, much less before noon! I'm in a bit of a daze most of the time, at least that's what it feels like--I'm not, like sitting around staring at the walls, but I'm not exactly exerting a whole lot of mental energy, either. I did, however, manage to get pretty much caught up in my pregnancy journal, so that was a huge accomplishment, and I also got most of my Christmas card envelopes addressed, which is a huge load off my mind. Some Christmas shopping is done, thank heavens--doing the whole walk-the-mall thing is getting less and less enjoyable (since walking = waddling and a whole lot of sitting every time I find a bench)--and I think I'll try to do the rest online so I don't have to go out anymore.

The baby is moving like mad--kicked so hard the other day I nearly dropped the glass of water I was resting on my belly. I just sit and stare at my stomach at night, which is when the baby seems most active--it's incredible to watch. But honestly, I'm done with the whole pregnancy thing. I'm over it. I'm ready to move on. I know I've said that before, but I really mean it now. I've run out of clothes that fit, for the most part--I have about a week's worth of shirts, plus about three pairs of pants or shorts--and I'm so tired of waking up in pain: leg cramps, back spasms, sore feet, weird aches I can't even explain. Enough! Let's get on with it already! The second Dan finishes his finals I'm doing every single one of those home remedies that supposedly put you into labor. It's time to get this show on the road and move on to motherhood.

All Warm and Fuzzy Inside...

I'm folding laundry and flipping around on TV and I came across Bob Ross' "The Joy of Painting." I absolutely LOVE this show. Part of it is that I just love watching visual artists create. It gives me a tingly feeling inside when a line of paint suddenly turns into a tree, or a few swipes with the broad brush turns a blank canvas into a winter scene with a blanket of snow on the ground.

But most of the reason why I love the show is because Bob is just the calmest, most peaceful person I've ever seen. His voice is so soothing, and his manner so disarming. The best part is how supportive he is of his viewers who may be following along and creating their own masterpiece. "Why don't we just drop a little evergreen in here? I'm gonna put mine right in this corner...but you can put yours wherever you want. It's your painting, and whatever you do is going to be perfect." All said in a voice so soft and relaxed that you almost have to turn up the volume just to hear him clearly. It's hypnotizing, honestly; I found myself gaping at the TV through half-closed eyes and a t-shirt in my hands waiting to be folded. I'm actually considering looking for his videos to bring to the hospital with me--I think they'd relax me even more than my hypnobirth CD. Wonder if he's on DVD...

Hiccups, the sequel

So these hiccups just keep coming, which is still tremendously annoying, but the baby is so big now that my belly actually moves when s/he has them. So now it's kinda cool, because it looks like my belly has a pulse or something. :)

Oh, and now I can actually press my fingers around my belly and find the butt (I'm hoping it's the butt, at least, or else the baby's positioned to come out feet first, which isn't good), and when I push it moves away--or sometimes pushes back. It's awesome--it's like playing with the kid before it's even born!

It's all about how you look at it...

Went to the mall last night for the first time in forever, and the place was decked out for Christmas already. It didn't hit me, until I saw all those shiny decorations and heard Christmas music in some of the stores, that it's actually The Holiday Season. For the last six months I've been looking ahead to this time of year, not just because it's my favorite season, but because it's the season when our baby comes. And then it hit me that THE BABY IS COMING. In, like, less than 2 months now.

I'm still really excited at the idea of having this baby. But I also realized the other day that I've been doing something somewhat detrimental during all my hypnobirthing practice. Much of the practice involves visualization: visualize your muscles relaxing, visualize your baby moving into the proper birthing position, visualize your birth the way you want it to be. Well, whenever I get to the exercises where I'm visualizing myself, I've been doing it from the perspective of watching myself from the outside, and not actually pretending that it's happening directly to me. All my visualizations of how I'll breath through the surges, how I'll act during labor, what I'll do during delivery, are suddenly MUCH SCARIER when visualized from a first person perspective.

A human being is going to come out of MY body. Wow.

I'm still excited, but I almost feel as though I'm starting over in all my hypnobirthing exercise. There's a whole new dynamic involved now.

Guess I better go practice....

The Official Baby Prediction Post

Thanks to the inspiration of my friends Meg and Rebecca, I decided to start a prediction pool for those of you who seem so sure you know what we're having. As you know, we're not going to learn the sex of the baby before s/he is born, but there are plenty of supposed predictors out there for us to play with--we'll see how accurate they are when the baby comes. And just to add to the fun...there's a prize! Read on to hear the details....


1. Alison is carring Baby Morrow:
a) High (girl)
b) Low (boy)

Answer: Baby Morrow is riding high--so far!

2. Alison sleeps with her pillow to the:
a) North (boy)
b) South (girl)

Answer: Her pillow is always firmly placed at the south end of the bed.

3. Alison's feet are:
a) Colder than before pregnancy (boy)
b) The same as before (girl)

Answer: While her general body temperature is definitely going up these days, her feet are the same as before.

4. When it comes to bread, Alison:
a) Refuses to eat the end of a loaf (girl)
b) Prefers the end of the loaf (boy)

Answer: Not sure how much this tells us, since Alison always refuses to eat the end, regardless of whether or not she's pregnant!

5. Darling husband Daniel is:
a) Gaining weight right along with Alison (boy)
b) Keeping the scale steady (girl)

Answer: Well, he was gaining weight, but lately he's lost a little, so who knows what the means!

6. Alison's mom's hair color when Baby Morrow was conceived was:
a) Gray (girl)
b) Not gray (either naturally or dyed) (girl)

Answer: Mom's quite fond of highlighting her hair, so I think that counts as dyed--although we're not sure what her hair has to do with Alison's pregnancy!

7. Alison had morning sickness early in her pregnancy:
a) Yes (girl)
b) No (boy)

Answer: No morning sickness for Alison--just ravenous hunger!

8. Alison's complexion is looking:
a) Particularly good during pregnancy (boy)
b) Not so good (girl)

Answer: After starting off with some crazy skin issues, things leveled off around month four, so now she's looking pretty darn good!.

9. During pregnancy, Alison's chest has:
a) Dramatically changed (girl)
b) Changed very little (boy)

Answer: Let's just put it this way: she and Dolly Parton have a lot more in common these days--Holy Cleavage, Batman!

10. Alison's age at time of conception: 29
Conception took place in the month of: April

Mother's Age
- # of conception month
Odd number = girl
Even number = boy

Answer: 29 - 4 = 25--odd number!

11. When a ring tied onto thread is hung over Alison's belly, the thread moves:
a) In circles (boy)
b) From side to side (girl)

Answer: This test was conducted by the hygenist's at Alison's dentist, and they insist they've always been right--the ring moved from side to side.

12. Alison has been craving:
a) Sweets (girl)
b) salty/sour food (boy)

Answer: This hasn't changed much from pre-pregnancy, either--her whole life Alison has been a big fan of sugar!

13. Alison has also been craving:
a) Meat and cheese (boy)
b) Fruit (girl)

Answer: This one is a little dicey. Has she craved fruit? Not exactly, although she has been more likely to eat it, mostly because she knows she should for the good of the baby. She definitely did not crave meat, but she was still somewhat predisposed to cheese. Guess we'll give the point to fruit.

14. Alison's nose has:
a) Grown wider (boy)
b) Stayed the same (girl)

Answer: Her nose has stayed the same.

15. Baby Morrow's heart rate is:
a) Above 140 beats per minute (girl)
b) 140 or less (boy)

Answer: While the heart rate started out at exactly 140, it has been faster the last three times it had been measured--and getting faster every time!

16. Alison's feelings towards Orange Juice:
a) Doesn't like OJ (boy)
b) Must have OJ every day (girl)

Answer: Alison has never liked OJ, and it hasn't changed since she's been pregnant, either.

17. Alison has been getting headaches:
a) Yes (boy)
b) No (girl)

Answer: Well, this one is a bit dicey, too--she had them quite a bit in the beginning, then she didn't for a while, but lately she's been getting them again...gues we'll say yes.

18. Alison's belly looks like a:
a) Watermelon (girl)
b) Basketball (boy)

Answer: What, "torpedo" isn't an option? Guess that means we'll go with watermelon.

19. If Alison shows someone her hands, she:
a) Shows them palm up (girl)
b) Shows them palm down (boy)

Answer: Palms down.

20: How does Alison pick up a mug?
a) By the handle (boy)
b) By the body of the mug (girl)

Answer: Usually by the handle.

21: Alison is carrying her pregnancy weight:
a) All our front (boy)
b) Around hips and butt (girl)

Answer: Well, she honestly thought it was all out front until a couple months ago, when she got a good look in the mirror--this is definitely a hips and butt baby.


THE FINAL SCORE:
Girl: 14
Boy: 7

So...do you agree? Cast your vote by posting a comment, and while you're at it, try your hand at your predicting skills by also guessing what Baby Morrow's stats will be:

Date of birth:
Time of birth:
Weight:
Length:

(By the way, according to the doctor, the baby's estimated due date is December 26, for what it's worth.)

"So hey," I hear you asking, "I thought you said there was a prize?!" Yes, yes, here it is: my new novel, "Violette Between", will be released this May, meaning I should get my first box of books somewhere around March or so. Whoever is the closest with his/her guesses gets a free copy before the street release. So start thinking, and get in your vote! The "polls" close December 14. (Unless the baby comes early!)

For those of you who haven't posted on a blog before, just click on "comments" at the end of this post. (It will say how many comments there are, like "4 comments.") You'll be taken to a page where all the previous comments are listed, and there will also be a place for you to write your own. (Be sure to put your name if you're posting anonymously!) Then type the confirmation code (a random string of letters) into the proper field and click "login and publish." Or you can email me with your prediction and I'll post it for you.

Let the guessing begin!

Baby 101

Last night was the new baby care class at the hospital. Ah, such fun--where else can you get a full-color Poop Chart? Actually, it really was interesting, albeit obscenely basic at times, although I guess it's possible that there are people who have never once in their lives diapered a baby before. (I hate to break it to them: it's a LOT more difficult do to with a squirmy baby than it is with a doll.) Probaby the most interesting part of the evening was the segment we got to watch from "Happiest Baby on the Block." The pediatrician who made the video (and wrote the book with the same title) talks about the first three months of life being like a fourth trimester, and explains that babies are most comforted when we recreate as best we can the environment the baby was in before birth. So, for example, swaddling, which most people do anyway, is important because it makes the baby all squished up like it was in the womb. Sidelaying is another trick: instead of laying them on their back, holding them in your arms so their back is against you and they're on their side makes them feel less vulnerable. Shushing in a continuous stream of noise right at their ear mimics the sound of blood rushing through the arteries next to the womb. Gently jiggling them mimics the sensation they experienced when their mother was walking and active.

It was incredible to watch the video of the doctor picking up a screaming baby and utilizing these tricks one after the other until the baby suddenly stopped crying, like a switch had been thrown. Their little bodies would relax and their eyes open up and one of the babies actually smiled.

So, do I feel prepared to handle my baby? Heck no! But at least I have some great charts and diagrams and info packets to flip through when I'm clueless. :)

Hiccups

At first they were cute. Now they're just plain annoying. This kid gets hiccups, like, three times a day! What's up with that?! For those of you who don't know first-hand what this feels like, imagine a very faint, gentle tapping low in your gut that NEVER STOPS. Well, okay, it does stop eventually, but it's one of those things that, once you notice it, you can't un-notice it, and every second, literally, you feel it. The first time it happened I was all excited that it was the baby kicking, and I was like, "Wow, this baby totally has rhythm! All that belly-patting while I sing paid off!" But apparently babies aren't coordinated enough to be that rhythmic. Bummer.

Oh my gosh, it finally stopped! Hallelujah!

Oh wait, no it didn't.

Blast.

A.Ma.Zing.

Today we saw our baby!!!!!

Technology is truly, truly amazing. At one point Dad said, "Hey, it looks like Alison did when she was born!" Now, maybe that's just because all babies share that chubby-cheeked midget look, but still, it's incredible that you can see the features SO clearly.

Unfortunately, s/he wasn't cooperating fully--there was a lot more sleeping going on than anything else. But it was so cute to see it laying there, using the placenta for a pillow--which it was clutching with its little fist--and occasionally trying to shield its face with its arm, as if to say, "Hey, a little privacy, please!" But it was at least facing the right way for us to get good photos and video, and it only flipped over away from the "camera" once (and eventually flipped back).

So now, the part you've all been waiting for (yes, I'm already turning into those mothes who thinks everyone is as enthusiastic about seeing pictures of her child as she is)...the photos!

Here's a good general shot of his/her face:


S/he kept putting his/her arm like this--we got a couple great shots of the armpit. :)


Look at the cute little pinky!


Huge feet, just like mother had when she was a baby. Mom always said I was like a puppy; I had to grow into my feet, which were just way too big for a baby my size. Looks like it runs in the family:


Easily the best shot we got all day, and of course it was the very last picture the tech was planning on taking. What's even better is that, on the video, s/he actually swivels its fist around the way bodybuilders do. It was hilarous; we were all totally cracking up:




So that's my baby. THAT is my BABY. Un-freaking-believable.